Can I stay a bit longer?

No secrets, just running: Part 2

2011-10-16T20:28:00.005-07:00

One of the first things that I started to work on with running was my form. Jason said to "run like you are trying to sneak up on someone." He told me that if I ran that way, I would run lighter on my feet and wouldn't be pounding as much. This is something I still pay attention to. It's harder to do when I get tired. For example at the end of a long run when I am trying to increase my speed but I'm tired from the miles, sometimes I'll start to pound. At that point I have to remind myself to slow down a little and do it right. It feels SO much better to do it right.

The other component that I wasn't paying attention to was getting properly warmed-up and even more important was the warming down and the cooldown. Jason has an EXCELLENT post about this on his site strengthrunning.com. I was a little overwhelmed at first with doing it all the time. I started doing the routines once or twice a week, then a few times. Now I am at the point where I won't run if I'm not sufficiently warmed up and I feel incomplete if I haven't done a cooldown routine. I've notice that the cooldown routines, especially the cannonball cooldown and the ITB Rehab Routine have really helped me with injury prevention. It doesn't add that much more in time to my workout. I started working on my core strength. It never ceases to amaze me how strengthening the core helps with everything else.

I am to the point where I run 30 miles a week. I run 5 times a week. When I first started with Jason, I ran 3 times a week with a total of about 15 miles per week. Essentially I have doubled what I am doing, but it has taken me over a year to double. I could have been more agressive with adding miles, but I wasn't. In May I tore my plantar fascia (this is different from getting plantar fasciitis) doing karate. It took me a few months to rehab it and get back to running on the road. I did a lot of pool running and biking during that time. Luckily Jason was able to help me through it. Looking back, if I hadn't had his encouragement, I think I might have quit running all together. By the way, my injury in karate could have been prevented if I would have warmed up properly! Now that I'm fully recovered, each of my 3 weekly runs are considered "easy" runs. I usually run 4 miles, sometimes 3 or 5 depending on how much time I have. Easy is a loose definition. I had a hard time getting it through my head. I wanted Jason to give me a pace to run. My easy pace changes from day to day, and thank goodness too. Today I am tired. I'm still recovering from my long run on Saturday and I'm getting a head cold. I ran easy and it felt wonderful. I'm not concerned that it was a minute a mile slower than my "easy" run last Thursday. Last Thursday I felt wonderful. Easy is a loose definition. Each easy run is followed by what Jason calls strides. Basically I run as fast as I can for 30 seconds. I catch my breath for a minute or so, sometimes longer. I do this 4 times. I think when I first started doing strides I did them once or twice a week. Now I do them after every easy run. I never pay attention to how fast these are, as again the speed depends on how well I feel. I remember one week I did my long run on Friday instead of Saturday. Jason suggested that on Saturday, I do my easy run with strides. My legs felt so sore from the run on Friday that I decided to skip the strides. Jason said that strides would have help stretch my legs and recover from the run. Now, I never skip strides, even if I have to go a little slower to do them.

Once a week I do an actual speed workout. In the spring I was doing hill repeats. I would run a couple of miles to warm-up then I ran up the hill as hard as I could for a minute. I would then turn around and slowly jog back down to the bottom. I repeated this 6 to 8 times. After that I ran the two miles or so home at an easy pace. Right now the type of speed work I'm doing is called a tempo run. This has been the only time that Jason even suggested a pace for me to run. He told me to run 2 miles to warm-up, try and run one mile at an 8:30 pace, then run two miles to warm-down. I don't remember exactly, but I think I did it faster, so it's good that I didn't stick with what he told me. I was able to run faster than he expected. I ran uncomfortably hard for 1 mile. It was too difficult to keep looking at my garmin to see if I was going "fast" enough. The next week I ran uncomfortably hard for 1.5 miles, then the week after that I did 2 miles. Looking back, if I struggled, it seems like I would spend two weeks until I was comfortable with my fast pace and mileage. Now, if I feel like I got my ass handed to me I am certain to try again the next week. I try very hard to not get obsessed with numbers. Numbers can be very fun, but I try to pay attention to how I feel. When I'm running my tempo, if I start to get comfortable, I run a little harder, if I start to taste blood, I run a little slower. I usually don't have to taste blood to know that I am running way too fast for me!

Again, I want to stress the biggest thing that I have learned is to be patient. I understand that I was pretty much coming from nothing....so it's easy to be happy with every step I take in the right direction. I am, after all better than I've ever been before. I'm not trying to "get back" to that wonderful high school weight, or run as fast as I did when I ran cross country in college. I was never thin and I never ran. It is difficult for people that are working their way back to a certain point in life. I'm not that person. I remember cheating in gym class when we had to run the 1.5 mile run. EVERYONE else in the class had lapped me and I couldn't bear the thought of me running another lap alone while they just sat there in amazement. I ended after lap 5. I lied to my teacher and I told him I had finished. I still finished dead last in the class, I didn't lie to win an award, but I was so out of shape that I couldn't do it. Keep in mind, I was probably 18. It should have been a piece of cake. I literally came from nothing! I have never been lazy. I have an excess amount of energy that can drive the calmest of men to drinking! But, I wasn't doing anything right. Soda pop is not good for you. Plain and simple. I have had the biggest battle with this and guess what.....the battle wages on. It never ends. You don't get skinnier over night. You don't get faster from 2 speed sessions. You don't ever stop wanting the things you are addicted to. But, you can stand up and fight. I'm fighting the fight. I hope this helps you fight too! I like to use the analogy about brushing your teeth. If you went to bed tonight and were too tired to brush your teeth, would you get up in the morning and forgo brushing your teeth? Would you tell everyone that you failed to brush your teeth and are now a non tooth brusher, because you didn't do it once? How about if you went a day without brushing your teeth? What about two days? You would come to your senses, and brush your teeth. You wouldn't stop all together. Being healthy is like brushing your teeth. Just because you had a bad weekend doesn't mean that you can stop trying all together. Get out there. A great man named Gordon B. Hinckley said, "Try a little harder to be a little better." Get up and brush your teeth, keep trying and keep doing better!

I started here: Part 1

2011-10-16T19:24:00.008-07:00

After fretting back and forth about what to say and how to react to so many inquiries to me about my running, I decided to write a little post about what I do, and how I came to do it. Writing is a pretty intimate process for me. Remember that really hot guy from high school that gave you butterflies? He was Josh Bacon at my school. Well writing used to be my Josh Bacon. I would get so excited thinking about what I was going to write and how I was going to present it. I've kind of lost my butterflies so you'll have to bare with me here.

Most of my running has been shaped by running coach Jason Fitzgerald of strengthrunning.com. I cannot say enough good about him, I really can't. So to avoid becoming overly attentive in my praise, I'll suffice to say, he knows his shit, and if he doesn't know it, he'll find someone that does.

First off I want to remind anyone reading this that I am an amatuer runner. I'm not overly fast and I'm not perfect. What I have been doing is what works for me. I hope you find something that works for you.

The journey started over 3 years ago, when a good friend of mine, Lena asked me to start running with her. I had recently quit my full time job, to be a stay at home mom of 3 young kids. I was so desperate to get out of the house that I would have joined in just about anything......even scrapbooking. I just wanted to be around adult and not dealing with me and my fattness. We followed the "Couch potato to 5k" program faithfully and ran our first 5k on June 7, 2008 in Sringville, Utah. Our time was 36 minutes. We didn't walk once and I was elated! The NEXT month we ran our first half marathon together. Lena had just found out that she was pregnant and pulled back to run slower. I finished in 2hrs 35 mins. I was in so much pain after that half that I pretty much stopped running and got a little fatter. I ran off and on until I found myself nursing and pregnant with baby #4. (No, I'm not a member of the le leche league and yes I do realize that nursing is not a solid form of birth control. hahaha) I only gained about 3 pounds with this pregnancy and after giving birth to a 9 pound baby my weight settled in at about 235. We moved houses and towns and I found another big girl name Marinda that was ready to roll with running. I felt that the "Couch potato to 5k" program was an excellent place to begin again. It helped me mentally and physically prepare to run further. This time running came a lot easier for me. We started running in February and again I ran the same half marathon I had 2 years earlier in July....with a time of 2hr35mins. I was frustrated and hurting, but not as bad as I was the first time. I continued to run, because I was falling in love with it. I also joined Weight Watchers. I had lost about 10 pounds from the months of running, but needed to get my eating in shape. I thought then, and I tell everyone now that I can eat my way out of any workout. Eating is the most essential part of being healthy.

I hired Jason in late September, early October. At that time my lower legs throbbed almost constantly. I wore my shoes with orthodox in them constantly. Jason had me start doing feet exercises and leg exercises and slowly increased my strength. I don't recall when I got rid of the orthodox, but it was probably in 3 or 4 months into training. Slow progress, but solid. The first thing I learned from Jason Fitzgerald was to be patient! I think it has paid off. I laugh when people ask me how I have gotten to be where I am. They are usually looking for a quick easy fix. It didn't happen for me. I was content to let things happen as they did. My weight has come off slowly and the running has increased even slower.

Rough Go

2011-07-23T17:34:00.003-07:00

The last few weeks have been rough at my house. Why do things have to be rough? It could be my fault....but I'm not admitting that.

Last Thursday was Stephen's first day back on shift. It is amazing how quickly I grow accustomed to him being home and helping me with life. i.e. the kids, laundry, food, etc. Yes, I can handle these things on my own. But, why do it alone when I can have my husband help me? Am I right? Anyhow, let's get back to Thursday. Thursday was hot. The kids had swimming lessons in the morning, and I barely got all of them out alive. Regan is such a wild card. This kid is typical in the fact that he is almost 2 and always on the move. I got the 3 girls dressed in the dressing room and looked away for maybe 30 seconds. In that time Regan left the dressing room and went to the deep end of the pool to climb on to the diving board. Luckily, our neighbor who happens to be a lifeguard grabbed him before he actually made the jump. I don't get frantic all that often as a mother. I was frantic, desperate even. I

This week I am all alone. It kind of bites, and I find myself wanting to reach out to someone. I am doubting myself and my choices. I'm not sure I'm cut out for this life. I made it through yesterday....barely. I didn't struggle with the kids at all. I actually got a ton done around the house. It was pretty amazing. But, my conflict came in the evening. Always the worst part of the day. I was unsure and unhappy. However, I survived! I did it. I made it. There just might be a light at the end of this tunnel.

I

The American Flag

2011-07-04T05:54:00.003-07:00

I know that sometimes there is question regarding my patriotism for this country. I want to let you know that I have started a tradition in our family of the folding the flag on the 4th of July family get together. I taught the cub scouts how to fold the flag and wanted them to understand a little bit more about it. The local American Legion guys did this demonstration for me, and I was really touched. I guess I really am proud to be an American.

Have you ever noticed how the honor guard pays meticulous attention to correctly folding the American flag 13 times? You probably thought it was to symbolize the original 13 colonies, but we learn something new every day!

The 1st fold of our flag is a symbol of life.

The 2nd fold is a symbol of our belief in eternal life.

The 3rd fold is made in honor and remembrance of the veterans departing our ranks who gave a portion of their lives for the defense of our country to attain peace throughout the world.

The 4th fold represents our weaker nature, for as American citizens trusting in God, it is to Him we turn in times of peace as well as in time of war for His divine guidance.

The 5th fold is a tribute to our country, for in the words of Stephen Decaur, "Our Country", in dealing with other countries, may she always be right; but it is still our country, right or wrong.

The 6th fold is for where our hearts lie. It is with our heart that We pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, Indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all.

The 7th fold is a tribute to our Armed Forces, for it is through the Armed Forces that we protect our country and our flag against all her enemies, whether they be found within or without the boundaries of our republic.

The 8th fold is a tribute to the one who entered into the valley of the shadow of death, that we might see the light of day.

The 9th fold is a tribute to womanhood, and Mothers. For it has been through their faith, their love, loyalty and devotion that the character of the men and women who have made this country great has been molded.

The 10th fold is a tribute to the father, for he, too, has given his sons and daughters for defense of our country since they were first born.

The 11th fold represents the lower portion of the seal of King David and King Solomon and glorifies in the Hebrews eyes, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

The 12th fold represents an emblem of eternity and glorifies, in the Christians eyes, God the Father, the Son, and Holy Spirit.

The 13th fold, or when the flag is completely folded, the stars are uppermost reminding us of our nations motto, "In God We Trust."

After the flag is completely folded and tucked in, it takes on the appearance of a cocked hat, Ever reminding us of the soldiers who served under General George Washington, and the Sailors and Marines who served under Captain John Paul Jones, who were followed by their comrades and shipmates in the Armed Forces of the United States, preserving for us the rights, privileges and freedoms we enjoy today.

There are some traditions and ways of doing things that have deep meaning. In the future, youll see flags folded and now you will know why. Share this with the children you love and all others who love the symbol of "Liberty and Freedom."

Wild and crazy

2011-07-03T14:18:00.003-07:00

Have you ever been a Saturday Night Live fan? I love it! "We are.....two wild and crazy guys!" I feel wild and crazy sometimes too. I realize, however that the thing that people like most about me happens to be my least favorite quality. I'm wild and crazy. I guess the wild and crazy part isn't what bothers me so much, it's the why.

Nervous energy.

Why do I have to have so much of it? It is not normal. I tell ya, it's not! How does one get rid of all that energy? I have found some interesting ways through the years. I dance. I love dancing. I do zumba, which is still pretty much dancing. I workout. I run. I clean. I mow the lawn, take the garbage to the dump. I clean some more, and then I talk. This is the part that I hate the most. I talk and talk and I laugh and I talk. Remember that stupid old t-shirt that expressed the line "Help I'm talking and I can't shut up!"? I'm fairly certain it was constituted in my behalf. I used to worry that people would read what I wrote on this blog and judge me, but then I worried that no one would want to read what I wrote. Ironic no? I want people to think I'm funny. Who doesn't love laughing?

Today at church, my neighbor and I got giggling so hard that I almost had to leave. This is the kind of giggling that you try and squash by closing your mouth and putting your head down. But, you are shaking so hard that you can't breath. I tried to look away from the hilarious culprit only to see Stephen giving me a disapproving glare. Even funnier. All the kids were either sitting on his lap or right next to him. They were smothering him. He looked like a tiny jungle gym that had long since reached capacity. Funny things happen during church. It's so hard to not laugh at them. So, why was I laughing in the first place? That damned nervous energy. It gets me every time!

I'm back....I think

2011-07-01T06:25:00.004-07:00

It has been well over a year since my last post. It's strange to think that I used to post so much on here. I was intimidated by knowing that people I see in my day to day life might be reading my words and somehow hearing my thoughts. Strange feeling indeed. Also, I feel like maybe I'm not as funny as I used to be. Seriously, I wonder what I was on. I need to find that again. I hope that maybe, just maybe I can start writing again. I think I can feel those trickles of desire for the writing coming through. Maybe, just maybe. I need to reread everything. I hope I'm not embarrassed by what is here!

I have gotten way intense about a lot of things over the last year. The biggest one is running. I can't seem to get enough of it. It's hard to find a circle of people that appreciate my passion. I haven't wanted to put anything not funny on here and force it down anyone's throat. Now I realize, I'm not making you read this. Seriously, click out of it at anytime!

Day to day our thoughts consume us. No matter what we are doing our brains never stop working. This is an absolutely amazing thing. My brain is going constantly and usually not in the same direction for very long. See if you can keep up!

Chocolate Coins

2009-12-19T17:23:00.004-07:00

Sundays we attend church at 12:30 PM. On Dec. 6th, we receive a phone call at about 11:00 AM. It was a guy asking us if we are missing something. Stephen looks around, checks first and foremost for his precious cell phone, then for his wallet. "Nope," he says. The gentleman on the phone began laughing as he said, "Well I have a 4 year old boy of yours here at the church. I think he must be lost, but he said he knows exactly where he is."

Stephen hopped in the car and drove to our church. As he walked in there was a whole row guys that were acting like they received Christmas early. Apparently our family, especially Remi the devil child, is "too funny for words."

Remi left our house around 10:30. "Mom, I am going to Grandpa's house!" I was pleased, one less child to wrestle with while trying to get my new boy hair do to sleek and sophisticated. Ha! Remi walked straight to my parents house. It was, however, locked. He didn't want to be bothered with ringing the bell, or knocking on the door. It was too much work. So, he decided to walk the 4 or 5 blocks to our church. He knew exactly where it was. He was already dressed in his church clothes so, what's the big deal? Right? He walked into the chapel and was directed by the men in there to go to primary. Good thing he knew where that was too. I guess he walked in, looked around, didn't recognize anyone, and sat down. He listened better than he ever has before. Stephen asked him later why he left us to go to the church. "Duh dad, they were giving out chocolate coins. I LOVE chocolate coins."

Tell Me.......

2009-12-19T06:29:00.003-07:00

Why are baby's fists made so perfectly for purple nurples?

More to follow!

2009-05-25T06:46:00.002-07:00

For 21 weeks we have been waiting to see if my boys are observant enough to notice the huge protrusion sicking out of the front of my stomach. I am pretty sure that everyone knows that I have indeed found myself knocked up again. Well, my boys did not figure it out, apparently I always look swollen. We wanted to wait to tell them while I tried to decide if I am crazy for having another baby. We waited so long that we figured we would take them to the "big ultrasound." Actually our ultrasounds are a little anti-climatic. My ob does them. I am pretty sure he has the first ultrasound machine built. He can see all the things he needs to see, all the things that are important. In the grand scheme of things, the gender is not part of the important part. I agree wholeheartedly. That being said, I always really really want to know whether we are having a boy or a girl. This time, I was a little worried that maybe we would have both. Yikes! Well, we will not be having twins. We will be having one baby towards the end of September. If I were guessing, I would guess September 23rd to be precise. Thank goodness for planned cesareans. My doctor, bless his heart, THINKS we are having another boy. Hunter and Remi are completely stoked. Remi emphatically told me that he didn't ever want another sister. He could be right. Bentley might be all the girl this family can handle. Although I have decided that I am joining the ranks of neurotic women that bear children close to 18 months apart, for now, I am okay with it. Neurosis suits me.

Spring is finally here!

2009-04-27T19:30:00.003-07:00

This picture is taken of a tree in our yard. I just love it. We live in an old house with a fully established yard. The woman that lived here for years and years had quite the green thumb. I am so excited to spend the summer with trees and flowers. We are so lucky to be here.

Indoctrination?

2009-04-09T09:55:00.005-07:00

Here is the million dollar question for the day: Do we indoctrinate our children? On the one had it is obvious that we do. This is not always pejoratively done. We tell our children the same things over and over again. We teach them by repetition. I take my children to church every week. They are taught pretty much the same things over and over again. The young women recite a theme each Sunday. Most Catholics can recite The Holy Rosary. What I am referring to in the negative side of indoctrination. Do we expect them to never question the "doctrine" they learn? Specifically I am referring to things like having elementary students stand every day and pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America. My 4 year old can recite this pledge. He has learned it in his first year of preschool. He cannot recognize any of the letters of the alphabet, but he can recite a 31 word pledge. Don't get me wrong here. I am not upset by this, although some of you may know my thoughts on this "pledge." However, I do find it interesting that this is one of the first things we teach our children. I understand that my children attend state schools sponsored by the government. It makes sense that a government sponsored school would want to encourage the values of it's government. What doesn't make sense to me is that it is almost socially unacceptable to not recite the pledge. Sure you have your people that disagree with the "Under God" part. It is okay for them. But, what about everyone else? Although this rant appears to have gone absolutely no where, I still want to know: Is it indoctrination to have our tiny children learn and recite the Pledge of Allegiance over and over again?

sidenote: I feel that I must put a disclaimer with this post as some of my previous posts have caused some hurt feelings unintentionally. I do not aim my posts at anyone in particular. This post does not mean that I am "unAmerican." I understand what a wonderful thing it is to live in this country. I support our soldiers. blah blah blah. Basically if you are going to be offended, go away. No one is making you read this.

Warning: Highly Flammable!

2009-01-28T12:28:00.005-07:00

Have you ever really looked at a package of tortillas? I have been examining ours to find the warning label about tortillas being a flammable material. I am considering writing the Mission Tortilla company and requesting that people be warned. Caution!!! Highly flammable material. Do not expose directly to the microwave for longer than 5 minutes. Do not throw into a heat source for too long. It will start on fire!

A couple of crucial points to this tale. 1. We live right next to my parents. 2. Next to corndogs, tortillas are a main staple in our family. 3. I always heat them up for about 15 seconds to make them easier to roll.

The other day, I ran over to my dads house to grab sometime that now is completely unremembered. I left Remi home watching the television. He is, after all, almost 4 years old. I was running 20 feet away, no big deal. My dad engaged me in some sort of distracting conversation. (Yes, I am blaming him, it is a lot easier.) I returned home to find smoke billowing out of my closed front door. Hysterical, thinking that our possessed computer had finally exploded, I ran into the house. I found Remi standing in front of the microwave in a hypnotic trance. The microwave was running. It said 18:24. I have no idea how long it had been running but smoke filled my entire house. I shut it off and turned around expecting my sweet little 3 year old to be scared watching all the smoke. He, still in a trance says, "Mom, when you put tortillas in the microwave for a loooonnnng (stretching his arms wide for effect) time, it makes fire. Fire makes smoke. It is awesome!" Awesome? Are you kidding me? I have tried everything to get the smell of burnt tortillas and cinnamon (I boiled a bowl of cinnamon water for 10 minute increments for about 40 minutes. Not my finest moment.) out of my microwave. Rather than take responsibility for my actions, or lack there of, by leaving a toddler unattended, I have decided that it is the Mission Tortilla company that needs to be punished for the smell and taste I have endured for 3 weeks. They need to warn everyone. Tortillas are highly flammable. Now you know.

Heath on Saturday Night Live Dream

2009-01-24T11:12:00.006-07:00

This guy Heath is pretty funny. Click on the link to see him on YouTube.

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=tejcriley&view=videos

He would love to get on Saturday Night Live. SNL has to be my all time favorite program. I am very passionate about it. I found Heath on Suzanne Calton's blog. He does some great impressions. If you think he is funny, pass the word along. I'm sure he would appreciate it. Funny people like to make people laugh even when they are not present to see it.

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Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh.
-..W. H. Auden

Presidential Inauguration

2009-01-23T17:50:00.004-07:00

On Tuesday Hunter came home from school in a huff. "Mom, did you watch the news today?" I say, "Yeah, why?" He rolls his eyes, "Mom, you know what I mean, did you watch today or not?" I laugh, "Yeah, why?" Getting visibly frustrated, "Mom didn't you see Barack Obama. They had a huge parade." "Yeah," I say, "I saw it. So, why was everybody making such a big deal about Barack Obama?" This time his eyes literally rolled out of his head, "Because mom, duh, he is (pause for effect) the 44th President of the United States! Why did you think everyone was making such a big deal?"

The 5K

2009-01-19T12:17:00.001-07:00

December was a pretty crummy month for me. I kept getting the stomach flu, weird. Anyhow, between that and the snow I really didn't run a whole lot. I was planning on running last weekend in the St. George Half Marathon. I decided to just do the 5K instead. My girlfriend Tiff has been kind enough to run with me. She went down too. It was so funny. I am pretty sure, it was my worst run of all time. Tiff has legs that go on forever. I kept up with her for the first 2 miles, but had to let her get a few minutes ahead of me in the third (more about that later). Anyhow, there I am running along, passing some people, while others pass me. I had about 5 people tell me what a good job I was doing. It struck me as kind of strange, being how they were running right along side of me. If I was doing good, then so were they. I thought about it later and realized that they were impressed to see a big girl. I forget sometimes that I am overweight. How is that possible? I had to laugh. "Way to go chubby!"

Dinner Party Frock GIVEAWAY!!!!

2008-12-10T18:43:00.000-07:00

Dinner Party Frock GIVEAWAY!!!!

My kids

2008-12-09T16:28:00.010-07:00

Right now, at this very moment, I am loving my children. I am going to quickly put up a couple of pictures of them before those good feelings are gone.

Hunter will be 7 this month. He loves to be the star of the show and thinks that cameras were invented specifically with him in mind. He is actually really starting to be fun. I think 1st grade suits him well.

Remi is a breed all his own. He will be 4 in February. We call him Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He is either the best boy or the worst, nothing in between. He wears this hoodie almost all of the time, and always with the hood on. He said, "MOM! Don't take my hood off, do you want my hair to blow away?!"

Bentley is our baby. She will be one in January. She always lays like this. She was laying like this before she could even roll over. Strange, but she likes it. I was so nervous to have a girl. We even thought the doctor was wrong when he told us her gender. Much to my surprise, I have enjoyed her. She is definitely a brat, but I think we will keep her. The hospital will not accept returns. I know, we tried with Remi.

The fat girls unite

2008-12-07T15:56:00.004-07:00

For most of my adult life I have been overweight. There is an acceptance process that one goes through when they become fat. First step is denial. People say things like, "I am just bloated." "It's just baby fat." "My clothes shrunk." Excuses can run the gamete. The second step is trying to hide it. Wearing sweats, t-shirts, baggy clothes. There are usually a few more steps in the middle including crash diets, yo-yo weight loss and gain. Some of the signs during this phase include, but are not limited to: tears for no reason other than the fact that the peanut butter is gone; bizarre of lame excuses for new bulges; uncharacteristic mood swings or personality changes. Exercising like a crazy person, only to lay on the couch for the week following said workout. Skipping the salad bar and heading straight to the desert table. This sign signifies that the cycle is almost complete and your loved one is about to become an official fatty. Well, lucky for me, I am way past that part. I have been official for quite some time now. Part of acceptance for me was buying plus sized clothing. This was the most difficult part of my transformation. There is an amazing thing that happens in department store when you move past the intimate apparel, through juniors, around misses, and into no mans land. The styles inevitably change. The clothing industry in general has been under the misguided notion that only 70 year old women are fat. You know the ones I am talking about. The lady with an embroidered leaf on her shirt, or maybe a picture of Tigger. Yeah, those women have it made. They can find clothes anywhere they please. But your average 20 something chubby has to look really hard. Imagine my delight when I find the one store that doesn't cater to old fat women. Lane Bryant. Glory be and hallelujah. I was so happy that I got a credit card. They have stylish clothes that are specifically designed for the horizontally challenged. It is amazing. Beautiful clothes for big beautiful girls. Wonderful. I was ecstatic, when I went shopping for new jeans a couple of weeks ago, to discover that my working out and eating healthy is finally paying off. I am currently wearing a size 4. Yup that's right. All 225 pounds of me fit into a size 4. Granted it is all tall, but still a size 4. After shopping, while eating my daily dose of chocolate I realized something. How can I wear a size 20 one day and a 4 the next? Oh, the manufactures of Lane Bryant clothing have redone the sizing. In an effort to make large women feel better, and desire to spend more money, they have claimed their own sizes. The fat girls united and claimed back the single digits. Move over skinny girls, I don't think there is enough room for both of us!

Just not feeling it

2008-11-17T11:00:00.003-07:00

So, this morning, so far, I have accomplished nothing. I sit here at the computer at 11:00 AM in my pajamas reading blogs, looking at pictures, and just wasting time. I have been blogging now for over 3 years. Through those years I have posted several different times with different subjects, photos, thoughts, etc. Lately, I am just not feeling it. I really enjoy stalking various people through their blogs, but I just don't want to stalk mine anymore. It is not just blogging either. I am not in the mood to do much except sit on my butt and watch the clock waiting for Stephen to come home from work. Stephen keeps wanting me to write about different experiences I have had lately: I changed that alternator in our van. I finally made the perfect chocolate cake, well not perfect but pretty damn good. Our children's latest attempt to drive my soul into the fortress of hell. The list goes on but really, I'm just not feeling it. Normally I could go on and on about some useless thing. Like the fact that 90% of the population has an "innie" belly button. Sorry Angelica, I always knew you were weird. But, I just don't feel it. I don't feel like me. What's up with that?

Tag, I guess

2008-10-28T08:29:00.004-07:00

Note: During the making of this post a child was nearly killed. Actually the near death came after. While typing about my lovely husband, his #2, el diablo was eating blueberry muffins on my nice duvet cover. I am freakin out here. He is such a shit!

My sister-in-law April tagged me to write about Stephen. I
don't know why I have struggled with wanting to do this, but I have. Of course I love my husband and think he is the bomb. But, I am a little uncomfortable getting all mushy out loud. But, I will try.

*Where did you meet? We met sledding on "TV" hill in Oak City. My friend Angelica and I had been dropped off by her dad. (We were both still 15 unfortunately) He failed to mention to her mom that we changed the location of our days events from the sand dunes to TV hill. She did not know where to find us at the end of the day. We had showed up to hang out with Angelica's soon to be beau, who shall remain nameless. Well, Mr Knight in Shining armor got cold and left us up there by ourselves to wait it out. Stephen could not leave two mildly attractive girls to freeze to death in the dark. He stayed with us until her dad came and got us. He started a fire to show off his mad scouting skills. Wow, we were certainly impressed. Come to think of it, Angelica why in the crap did you date "leave us in the cold?" He was a bum! Okay that is not really fair. He was a cute bum. I forgive you.

*How long did you date before you were married? Well, we started dating pretty much immediately there after. That was January 1997. We got married December 16, 2000. Stephen took a break from me for about 2 years to serve an LDS mission. We wrote back and forth as much as you can when one lives in the jungles of the Philippines. He came home Oct. 12 and we were married two months later.

*How long have you been married? Almost 8 years.

*What is your favorite feature of his? His big blue eyes.

*What is your favorite quality of his? His mad scouting skills! Actually, he is really likable. It amazes me how many people like me. I guess he does not tick people off like I do. He is just so nice. He does bed time with the kids every night. He gets them all ready, says prays with them, and puts them down, every night without fail. I can't hardly do it when he is not around.

*Does he have a nickname for you? He calls me by my middle name, Marie.

*Does he have a favorite color? Utah Ute red.

*What is his favorite food? Ughh, I actually have never really thought about it. He likes whatever I make. I know he loves Mexican food though. Honestly, who doesn't?

*What is his favorite sport? Football. During football season very few channels work on our dish when Stephen is watching the games.

*When and where was your first kiss? Hold on to your hats. We were at a dance on Valentines Day in 1997. We were arm in arm swaying to the music our faces all nuzzled into one another. He was breathing really heavy on my neck, ooh la la then he planted one on me. Right there in the middle of the dance floor where everyone could see. I almost died.

*What is your favorite thing to do as a couple? As a couple, what does that mean? Oh time, without children. We usually rent a movie and I fall asleep. We used to be a lot more exciting. We would rock climb, hike, golf, snow board (on my honeymoon even) but now we don't do much together that does not involve sleeping.

*Do you have any children? 3 - Hunter, Remi, Bentley

*Does he have a hidden talent? Cooking. I guess it is not that hidden for anyone that knows us. But he is the cook in our family. In fact I used to be in a supper club. We met once a month, had dinner, then exchanged recipes for the entree we brought. I never had a recipe to give because Stephen, or Angie a couple of times, made my contribution.

*How old is he? 29

*Who said I love you first? Probably him, he is such a sap.

*What is his favorite type of music? Rock n Roll baby! (Metallica, AC/DC, Led Zeppelin)

*What do you admire most about him? I admire how forgiving he is. He never holds onto anything. He just forgives and forgets. He puts up with a lot from me, and he never complains, as far as I know. He is just a darn winner! He is definitely a keeper.

So, I guess now I need to tag someone else to continue the chase. I tag Angelica, Brooke, and Angie.

It's rude not to

2008-10-27T10:58:00.002-07:00

Well, I haven't written for a while. Truth be told, I haven't had much to say. Rural America is treating me good. For those of you who haven't had the distinct pleasure of visiting my home town, let me explain a little bit about it to you. It sits in a valley about 100 miles wide. There are about 3000 people in Delta itself. There are several smaller communities that surround Delta. One of the smaller towns is called Oak City. My husband Stephen actually grew up there. I think it was settled by two or three different families and then expanded slightly after that. Everyone is pretty much related, with the expection of my in-laws, of course.

Well one thing I think is so funny about Oak City is that everyone waves to one another. I am not exaggerating when I say EVERYONE. Maybe it is a town law. I don't know, but I find it particularly funny. I asked Stephen why this is so. He said, "Everyone waves because it is rude not too." Granted there are probably only 200 or 300 people that live in this little wonder, so the odds of knowing all occupants are pretty good. But still, somehow someone must have passed a waving law. Maybe it is like the good samaritan law on Seinfield. I haven't had the guts to test the limits, I always smile and wave back, no matter what. I had to laugh this morning on my way to my in-laws home. I saw this huge truck pulling a horse trailer full of horses. I was prepared for the waving rule, so I looked the driver right in the face. She was turning and had a cell phone to her ear. I figured that cell phone and trailers had to be among the expections to apply to always waving. One shouldn't have to wave if he or she is chatting on the phone while pulling a trailer. Rule #275 after the rule about not having to wave if the driver is trying to hand a toddler a sippy while changing the music from AM 700 to something without static. (Good luck with that!) Anyway, so I figure there is no way this lady is waving, right? Wrong, she waved. Not just a hand up and down wave. She actual moved her wrist. Keep in mind she was turning right onto the highway, pulling a horse trailer full of horses and talking on the cell phone. Obviously she had no choice. Because, after all it is rude not to.

I whine because that's what I do.

2008-09-29T14:24:00.000-07:00

Today I was chatting on the phone with a friend. We were discussing whether or not she was whiny. She has experienced some turbulence in her life recently and has been trying to share her feelings without sounding whiny. Is it possible to complain, without whining? I have been contemplating this. I complain about my children, but I am thankful to have them. I whine to any one that will listen about my latest upset. What is the difference? Why do I whine? The other night I had a tender moment that I have considered sharing. My 3 year old niece stayed with us for about 10 days. She was excellent! I did not realize that 3 years old could listen and do as they are told until she was here. Anyhow, every night we did our "bedtime routine" and got everyone bathed and dressed for bed. I was gathering the wet towels and lotion to put away, when one by one each of the kids gave me a kiss on the cheek. As I walked away, I could feel the wetness that they had left behind. Now, normally I would have some snide comment about slobbery slime or something like that. As I felt that wetness, I was suddenly glad that I was a mom and glad that someone wanted to kiss me goodnight. Strange I know, given all the whining I do, but I really am glad to be a mom. Over the last year, I have noticed my maternal instincts kicking in (yes I realize that my oldest will be seven years soon, better late than never right?) and I have felt closer to not only my children but other children as well. I love it when my friends kids are happy to see me. It makes me feel so good.

Why when I have all these wonderful experiences do I whine about life? Because it is what I do. I whine, I complain, I bitch, I moan. It is not my favorite part of my personality. In fact, it is probably one of my worst traits.

I want to know, who likes to whine? What do you have to complain about? What is really bugging you today? Today, I hate doing dishes. Not having a dishwasher is really grating on my nerves. I am complaining because I can. What about you?

My hero

2008-08-27T12:52:00.000-07:00

Angelica tagged everyone who reads her blog to post about someone in their life that is a real hero. Now, you may or may not have noticed that I do not do tags. I don't know what my aversion is to them. I always enjoy reading other people's tags. Anyhow, I am taking on this tag because it is not about me. It is about my friend Mi'Chelle Millward Larsen. She is definitely my hero. I met Meeshie while attending Snow College. She was in my social psych class. I was newly married, newly pregnant and crazy! I don't remember what first attracted us to one another but we became friends. Meesh is the best friend that anyone could ask for. I have never met anyone else that radiates so much love. I have had other friends that I have loved as much as I love her, but I am not sure I can say that I have had any that have loved me as much.

Speak now!

2008-08-25T08:45:00.004-07:00

Typically in years gone by I always asked people if they were okay with me adding a link on my blog to theirs. Or, I have waited until I received a request from them to add a link on my page. Links have come and gone from this blog. I am never quite sure what link adding etiquette is. In the recent months I have discovered a large amount of friends that blog. I can't keep track of what is or isn't out there. If you want me to add a link on my blog, let me know.

Daily Affirmation

2008-08-22T16:59:00.002-07:00

I deserve good things. I am entitled to my share of happiness. I refuse to beat myself up. I am an attractive person. I am fun to be with. I'm going to do a terrific show today! And I'm gonna help people! Because I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and, doggonit, people like me!

We're Moving!

2008-08-14T15:38:00.002-07:00

Well folks, you heard it from the horses mouth, so to speak. We are moving to Delta. Crazy I know, moving to that Hell-forsaken land. What can I say? I want to be by my momma. For those of you unaware, Stephen and I both grew up in the Delta area. His parents and mine are there. We have quickly packed up our things, encouraging those we love to run around like chickens with no heads, and we are moving this weekend. School starts on Monday. Unfortunately, Stephen will have to remain working in Provo and commute during the week until other arrangements can be made. In the mean time, "We are moving on up to the 'westside' and it looks like we're gonna get some cream from the pie
Right, right!"

Believe It!

2008-07-20T18:22:00.002-07:00

I want you to close your eyes and use your brain for a moment with me. Think of a girl that weighs about 230 pounds. She has a few kids, has a good size front butt, not too bad legs. A slight double chin, regular size ankles. Can you see her in your minds? She is about 5"6'. Does that help? Okay now that you have your big girl in your mind. Dress her in athletic wear down to the shoes. How does she look? A little out of place, maybe, but dress her anyway. She might need two sport bras to help wield the beasts. There you go. So, now you have your chubby girl in running clothes, ready to go. What are you going to do with her? No, don't give her a donut, she obviously doesn't need it. I have an idea. Let's drive her to Bryce Canyon and have her run 13.1 miles. NO, you say? Oh yes, I say. She can do it. She has been running since May and she can do it. Perhaps she will place 356th overall out of about 1000 people, 92th in her age group with a finishing time of 2:35:08.8. Crazy idea, I know, but if this big girl can do it, so can you!

Photo Op.

2008-07-20T18:10:00.009-07:00

These boys may want to kill each other half the time, but they will always pause for a nice photo shot. This was taken on Friday at Bryce Canyon National Park. They fought the entire way down and back. It was horrible.

It took us almost 6 hours to get home. I am glad that they are boys!

I added this just in case you thought the previous post was farse!

New Link for Awesome Website!

2008-07-15T17:01:00.005-07:00

If you will direct your eyes to the top right hand side of the screen above the "About Me" section, you will see that I have a new link to
Sage Creek Jewelry.
It is a baby blog, just getting started. If you love jewelry, even if you don't go check it out. I have a necklace and matching earrings from Sage Creek. Every time I wear it, without fail, I get a compliment. You can click on the pictures to make them larger in another screen. The quality is amazing. The detail alluring. This is my new favorite place to buy necklaces and earrings. GO LOOK AT IT NOW! I know you will be hooked. By way of copyrights, I stole a picture from the blog. I hope the owner doesn't mind. What are you waiting for? Get off my page and go look!

We need more exposure!

2008-07-15T10:37:00.004-07:00

Just moments ago I was checking my email on yahoo. Yahoo is powered by adds, of course. Hunter loves to sit by me and look at them across the top of the screen. With the presidential election coming up we have been swamped with "Vote for me, and all your wildest dreams will come true" adds. I refreshed the screen and a new add popped up. It was a Barack Obama add. His big smile flashed across the add. Hunter got all excited and said, "Look mom Tiger Woods is on our computer!" My kids definitely need to get out more!

Not in the mood

2008-07-14T10:24:00.003-07:00

I haven't been in the mood lately. For what? You are thinking. For anything. I am not in the mood to make my bed, do laundry, dishes, water the lawn, deal with kids, blog, be nice. You name it, I am not in the mood. I have been trying to think of something witty to say, maybe a nice story to start the afternoon. (It is nearly noon now, I just finished breakfast. Sad, I know.) Alas I cannot think of anything nice. It is a proverbial expression. I use it a lot. "I am not the mood to listen to you fight." "I am not in the mood to discuss it." "I am not in the mood for you to cry at me all day about your brother playing with a small part that was pulled from a nameless toy in your room. It is not your special toy. You only care because he wants it."

Is anyone else not in the mood? Am I the only bleak person out there? Come on folks, wipe those stupid grins off your faces and tell me...Are you in the mood?

Potty Humor

2008-06-13T10:53:00.003-07:00

I have decided that boys come to this world trained to acknowledge bodily functions as humor. My kids think of any gas, bubbles, or air that might sneak out as the best kind of comedy. This morning Remi was laying on my bed watching Stephen get ready for work. He passed what sounded like a fog horn from his rear part. He laughed and laughed. Stephen and I are used to this. We are both fairly mature adults. Stephen calmly explained to him that passing gas is not funny. It is gross. Remi promptly said, "It IS funny, you know, I almost woke Hunter up in his bed!" Farts are awesome!

Car Wash

2008-05-31T09:27:00.005-07:00

I have always loved driving my car through the car wash. When I was little, my dad would fuel up at the Chevron in East Bay on University Ave. It has a car wash on site. Big blue flaps of material hitting wildly against the car, pushing it side to side threatening to tip the beast, but it never did. I used to hold my breath thinking each time that this would be the one that defied all others. This would be the exact moment that our car would be knocked to it side killing all occupants. (A little dramatic, I realize this, I was maybe 10, give me a break.)

Well, when I was about 19 or 20, Ephraim got their first automatic touchless car wash. Yeah, sure they had car washes before this, but I was thrilled. A car is driven into the bay and cleaned with sprays of water only. It is amazing! The splish splash car wash is particularly wonderful, because it's foam is multi-colored (Mind blowing, I know!) and sprays uniformly across the windows. When the boys were little we went to this wash about once a week. It was like getting a pedicure for the car.

As life has continued on for our family I have come to see that it is a bit frivolous to wash my car at the car wash each week. I have all the equipment at home, not that I use it. Anyhow, sometimes I decide that it will be a nice adventure for the day to go through our local car wash. (Still picaresque.) The other day was one of these magnificent days. Bentley and Remi had both fallen asleep leaving only Hunter and I to enjoy the experience. I recently purchased a Hey Tom duster from flylady.net. It is wonderful. I dusted the front dash board and the passenger seat. Hunter wiped the back seats down and started to clean the above console. I took the duster from him, so that he wouldn't wipe it on the ceiling. I wiped over the compartment containing my favorite sunglasses, the duster clinging to dirty fingerprints and dust like a magnet. I moved the duster forward in one swift motion to complete the job. As I pulled the duster down I heard the passenger back door open. Oh No, I thought, I didn't. Oh yes, I did. I had hit the button opening the back door. "Idiot!" I thought. Lucky for me the water had just passed her door and I closed it allowing only a fine mist to enter my car. As the door closed I could hear that the water was still whooshing as loud as it had before. I looked over my left shoulder to see the other door open. *^%$! I quickly pushed the button to safely close this door. It would close without incident just as before. As this thought crossed my mind I saw the door slowly closing and realized with horror that the water was quickly making it's way to our open door. Tie goes the runner I saw as water sprayed into my car soaking my arm that I had thrown protectively back, (like my arm is going to keep gallons of forceful water out of my car.) I screamed, Hunter screamed, Bentley woke up, and Remi slept. I laughed and laughed. It was hysterical. Hunter said, "That was awesome!" Lucky for my Bentley, she was mostly covered and only got a little wet. We definitely got our money's worth out of this inside/out car wash.

We are the same!

2008-05-29T20:39:00.003-07:00

Stephen and I are trying to introduce a new parenting fad, or mantra of sorts for each family member:

"SAY NO TO INDIVIDUALISM!"

There is no need for children to grow up competing with one another to try and show that they are best. Everyone should be the same. If one of your children cannot ride a bike, none of them should. If your 3 yr old is not ready to read, by all means, do not let your 6 yr old learn. This would make his abilities stand out. And if by some chance, your baby cannot grow hair, shave the older children bald, so that she will not feel bad.

Music Monday

2008-05-12T07:37:00.003-07:00

Today I would like everyone to go back in their minds to the fall of 1998. I was a senior at Delta High School, trying my best to enjoy life to the fullest. My best friend was Angelica Ward. We were practically inseparable. Stephen had just left to do his own thing. It was a Saturday night, the exact date escapes me. Angelica and I were restless. We wanted to do something crazy. Lucky for us we had Sarah Cross to grace our existence. She is one crazy broad, and I loved her for it. Sarah has always been a bit eccentric. She always had the most exciting ideas of fun. Some were good and some not so good for any of us. Well, this particular Saturday night she was at her best. The three of us got all dressed up in our best formal dresses. Annie Draper made us the most beautiful corsages made from marigold flowers. Marigolds? Yes, they are not the typical orchid, they are not part of the Orchidaceae family at all. But they were all we had. So there we were, three hot chicks dressed to kill. We got in my little 1982 mercury lynx with faux wood paneling and drove the 45 minute drive to Fillmore, Utah. Their high school was having the annual homecoming dance. It was a formal dance, and we just happened to be dressed for the occasion. The dance was held in the gym and every song played was a slow, nice, dance close to your boyfriend song. Well, we requested "Gettin Jiggy With it" from Will Smith. The dance floor cleared and the three of us took the floor. It was hilarious. I loved it. Every time I hear this song, I think of my date with Angelica and Sarah and how we ripped up the floor. I tried to find the picture that goes with this blog, but my scanner isn't working. Ah good times!

Music Monday

2008-05-05T12:26:00.007-07:00

Brooke started a tag on music. I think this is a wonderful idea. Music defines so many different situations in life. Think of all of the music we have running all around us each day. Commercials, television programs, movies, stores, the car, it is everywhere. I am surprised that the refrigerator doesn't play music when the door is opened. I always have a song playing in my head, kind of like Homer Simpson.

There are few things that bind us together in commonality. With the exception of the crazy cults that might not allow any kind of music, most people across the world listen to some form of music. Try and name five things that humanity in general has in common. I am willing to bet my morning doughnut that music would be one of them. Music speaks to the soul. It inspires, it leads, it angers, it softens. It has the ability to conjure any emotion desired with it's beat, words, and melody.

The song I would like to discuss from my blog today is Depeche Mode's "Somebody." This has to be one of the cheesiest songs I can think of. I first heard it when I was in college. My roommate and friend (there is a definite distinction) Jill Farnsworth, now Jill Norris, knew all the words. We would call the college radio station every two hours, when they switched the DJ, and request it. She would stand on the couch and sing it to the roommates like she was giving a concert. Jill is the type of person that can light up the darkest room. I can't think of anyone that doesn't like to be around her. It was so much fun. Every time I hear this song, I think of her and how much I envied the happiness the radiated from inside of her. It makes me smile.

If there are any of you that don't read Brooke blog, which I can't imagine because she is a wonderful writer, I have copied and pasted part of her post that includes Music Monday:

"Therefore, I am hereby announcing that Monday will now be (drum roll.....) "Music Monday" (catchy, huh?) A lot of you have music on your blogs, so I'm tagging everyone who reads this (no one is left out!) to write a post about one of the songs on your blog each Monday. It can simply say why you like it, etc. Or it can be about how you had your first kiss to the song, blah, blah. Even if you don't have music on your blog, you can still write about songs you like. Anyway, I am doing it, so that I will have a tag to do :) Sooooo...EVERYONE, TAG, YOU'RE IT! :)"

Brooke, I hope that this is okay with you. I don't have the brain power to reword it.

TAG!

You never forget how to ride a bike!

2008-04-30T20:33:00.004-07:00

I am going to have to come up with a big fat bullshit on this one. Yesterday, I was showing Hunter how I learned to ride a bike and I have never forgotten. I rode from our church, to my house and back again. I was doing really well. Granted, a few days earlier the sprocket tried to eat my leg. It ripped a hole as big as my face in my pant leg. I was so mad. My best pair of jeans. Damn bike! I'm surprised that I decided to have a rematch. This time I wore gym shorts, perfect bicycling attire. I rode around the church parking lot, down the curb, around the van and back. I was feeling extremely comfortable. It must be true, I thought, you don't ever forget this kind of thing. Well that's when I got the great idea to jump the curb. Let me repeat myself, jump the curb. As in lift the front wheel of the bike up bring the entire bike up the 3 foot wall that had to have been the curb. (Accurateness need not apply.) Well, without going into to much detail. I flipped the bike over, scraped my leg, hit my ribs, and after all of that, I caught myself on the sidewalk. Stephen thought I might break an arm or something, but no, I came away with only minor bruises to my legs and ego.

I Am America (And So Can You)

2008-04-29T17:30:00.003-07:00

"I AM A GAY AMERICAN. AND I COULDN'T BE GAYER NOW THAT THE GAYS ARE ON THE RUN. OF COURSE, I'M USING "GAY" THE WAY OUR FOUNDING FATHERS INTENDED, TO MEAN "HAPPY," BEFORE IT WAS STOLEN FROM THEM BY THE GAYS, JUST LIKE THEY STOLE THEIR TIGHTS, WIGS, AND CODPIECES." -Stephen Colbert

Stephen has been reading this book "I Am America (And So Can You)" by Stephen Colbert. It is hilarious! On the back of the book he writes, "A great read! I laughed, I cried, I lost 15 pounds! I cannot recommend this book highly enough." Stephen and I have been hysterical over him. I love his satirical humor. You can also watch him on the Colbert Report. I am always crying by the time the show ends because I have been laughing so hard.

Flashback Friday

2008-04-25T11:51:00.006-07:00

This photo is of me and Stephen's younger brothers. Eric is to my right and Spencer is to my left. They were so much fun. When Stephen was a junior, he got it in his head that he needed to take another junior to the Junior Prom. I was a year younger in school so I didn't qualify. I spent the night with these two hotties chugging mountain dew and watching stupid movies. Ah the good ol' days! By the way, when I was a junior, I was perfectly fine with my senior boyfriend taking me Go figure!

This picture was taken at my Homecoming dance a few days before Stephen left on his mission I am surprised that I was even smiling.
It wasn't my happiest time ever. :(

Flashback Fridays

2008-04-11T08:14:00.004-07:00

Ali tagged everyone to do a Flashback Friday. I love them so I decided to start doing it. Great idea Al!

This Friday I am flashing back to toddler age. I don't know exactly how old I am in this picture, but I definitely have red hair at this point, no denying it. My nemesis throughout life, the hair. What can you do though right? Dye it you say? Not this hair. I have dyed it and it returns to its natural state before about a month is over. So I have given in and go all natural.

Apparently at this age, I was pretty vain. My mom said that I loved getting my picture taken, and always smiled. When you are this little, who doesn't love getting photographed? Especially, when chubby thighs and double chins are the style.

Can I stay a bit longer?

2008-04-08T08:42:00.003-07:00

As you may or may not have noticed I finally added music to my site.

100 songs that make me tick

When I first set up my blog a few years ago, I had to pick a title. At that moment I was listening to one of my favorite songs. My favorite music always makes me want to stay a bit longer. To enjoy the moment forever. Music can take the worst day and make it better. I can close my eyes and see the music and forget all my troubles. The music has a wide range of audiences. I am not typically a sappy person, as some of you probably have seen. I have a hard time with PDA, which Stephen absolutely loves. He is so good to always tell me he loves me. I have a hard time always telling him that. But with music, you don't have to pick the right words to express your thoughts, it is just there. Sappy music is perfectly acceptable. This selection beings with one of my all time favorites and finishes with a song that makes me think of Stephen every time. It starts and ends with what is most important, Love.

I hope you can find at least one song that makes you smile.

Enjoy!

More Pictures of Bentley

2008-03-24T11:22:00.004-07:00

I took some pictures of Bentley the other day while all the boys were gone. I am definitely not a good photographer, but I think they turned out alright. While I was taking the photos, I accidentally had the camera on video and got footage of Bentley peeing on the blanket. It was hilarious!

Baby Bentley

2008-03-24T10:40:00.009-07:00

Stephen and I took some pictures of Bentley in her blessing dress. This was not a easy task. Babies do not cooperate very well! In fact I think this is one of the only decent ones we got.

2008-03-09T10:30:00.009-07:00

Angie wanted to see some pictures of the kids. Right now I don't have much to say about them.

The boys smothering Bentley.

Bentley, encouraging them even more by laughing at them.

Bentley, more curious about Hunter than the camera.

What's on your mind?

2008-03-08T03:52:00.005-07:00

It is about 4:00 AM. I just fed Bentley, and find myself restless. My thoughts are too loud. What's on your mind you ask? Well, nobody asked, but I am going to share it anyhow. Yesterday I overheard someone make this comment: "I could care less." For some reason I cannot stop thinking about what she meant by that sentence. She was speaking about a topic that she no longer wanted to give any thought. She was tired of dealing with it and wanted it known that she was done and COULDN'T care less. I wanted to lean over to her and say, "you mean, you couldn't care less, right? Saying that she could care less does in fact mean that she could going on caring about the subject more than she did right at that moment. For some reason I seem to notice when people use the word 'could' instead of 'couldn't' in that phrase. I always have to restrain myself from correcting them. Why? Why do I care? I know what was meant by the phrase. Get over it and GO TO SLEEP!

Be on your best behaivor

2008-03-06T12:19:00.009-07:00

This is in the Philippines. It reads, "Don't pee here, there, or anywhere."

How do you feel about the poor guy that got so fed up he had to paint the word pee on the side of his building in big bold letters?

This is my personal favorite. They don't care where you spit, just do it quietly please.

2008-02-12T13:41:00.000-07:00

If you reveal your secrets to the wind you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees.
-Kahlil Gibran

Welcome back

2008-02-11T16:04:00.000-07:00

Well, a lot has changed over the course of this last year. At the end of March 2007, I started working at the last place one could imagine me working: a daycare. One can only work in low income housing for so long before the craziness seeps in. I had started to feel like I was going to lose it when a lady that I go to church with asked me if I wanted a new job. What was I thinking? DAYCARE? ME? I should have have said no when I had the chance. But, I didn't. I started in the 3 year old class room on March 26. By May, I was ready for a change. I moved out of the 3's and started doing accounts receivable. Well, one thing led to another and I found myself doing about 4 jobs for the price of one. Anyhow, that phase has passed me by. I now find myself unemployed. My last day of work was January 25th. What a glorious day (singing) aaaaaaaahhh!

On January 27th at 7:20 PM I started my next adventure. I had a baby girl.

Wow are girls different than boys. She looks pretty much the same, well with the obvious exception of the actual girl parts. She smells pretty much the same, but there is a distinct contrast between her and either of my boys. She is sooooo good. I can honestly say that I have really enjoyed having her around these last two weeks. Oh I almost forgot hmmm (clearing my throat)

Annoucing the birth of Bentley Lyn Hintze.

Weight: 7 lbs. 9 ozs.
Height: 18 inches

Both of the boys are eating her up. They are driving me crazy wanting to love her and hold her.

Hunter has absolutely been madly in love with her!

Remi is a little more standoffish, but he loves getting his picture taken.

Thus begins our new saga!

Update

2007-02-15T21:17:00.000-07:00

Remi discovers my mascara.

Hunter went on his first deer hunt.

My brother's girlfriend had a baby girl. He always has beautiful dark haired babies.

Remi also discovered that he loves the margarine. I know that this picture looks strangely familiar. I haven't learned my lesson of not leaving him unattended.

Our family photo

Also, we bought our first home. It is an old brick house, built in 1931. It has a lot of character. We are really excited about it. Currently we are deciding what to do with the flooring. There is wood in it. We would have to refinish it and it will look incredibly rustic. We can't decide what to do. More to follow.

I am not dead yet!

2007-02-15T20:42:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to let everyone know that I am not dead yet. We have had a rough October, November, December, and January. Now that we are half way through February, I think things are looking better. More to come......

Things that make me smile

2006-10-09T08:54:00.000-07:00

Okay, I am trying a new thing. I am going to make a list of all the things that make me smile.

1. Rain - I love the way everything looks both while it is raining and after. I even love the hard, beat everything down rain. The kind that you can't see through even with your windshield wipers on high. I love it!

2. Music - We have music on at our house nearly all the time. I dream about music while I sleep, strange I know. Actually, it is more like my dreams have background music. I love almost all types of music as mentioned in previous post. I love everything from James Taylor to Jack Johnson, depending on my mood

3. Getting E-mail - I love, love getting emails from people, not junk but a good old fashioned
letter. It always makes my day, even if it is an incomplete sentence that doesn't make any sense at all from my youngest brother. I still love it.

4. Mountains - The view from my front lawn. Simply amazing

5. Short Stop Lights -

6. Meeting new friends - I love new people. It always makes my day to have a conversation with any adult, but I love friends.

7. Football - This hasn't always been the case. I used to despise it, absolutely despise it, but now it makes me smile.

8. When random things make me think of my Grandma.

9. Camping - Especially in the canyon above our old home sniff sniff

10. Unexpected gifts - We have had so much fun with this old thing.

11. Lilies - especially star gazers

12. New shoes - Who doesn't love new shoes, I mean come on they are shoes for crying out loud!

13. Preschool - Two complete hours with no being told what to do or when to do it. I am talking about my 4 1/2 year old. Yes he does boss me around. I like the break.

14. The Move Theatre - I don't get out much if this makes me smile, but it does, it really does.

15. My nieces and nephews

16. The fall season. This time of year is wonderful. I love all of the colors in the sky and on the leaves. It is beautiful.

17. Lunch, speaking of which I am hungry. I'm am going to update this later. I am a little disappointed with myself that only 17 things make me smile and food is one of them.

What makes you smile?

The end

2006-10-05T09:18:00.000-07:00

Okay folks, it is all over. The end of the world is near. I made waffles from scratch this morning and my children have officially become obsessed with Johnny Cash. Hunter walks around saying, "Hello, I"m Johnny Cash." "My name is Sue, how do you do? Now your gonna die!" Does anyone think this could potentially be a problem?

I don't know which to be more worried about, the fact that I cook all the time, or our background music contains the phrase "son of a bitch" almost every other line. I am not sure about this stay at home momma stuff. I love music, and so do my kids. A neighbor of mine informed me that children should not listen to Johnny Cash or Soft Cell (Tainted Love.) No one told me this before. My stay at home mother manual didn't mention it once.

I'm going to fail miserably!

Anger Management

2006-09-26T17:51:00.000-07:00

This is hilarious.  I have always wanted to do
something like this.

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you
just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out
on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't
know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone
call I'd forgotten to make.  I found the number and
dialed it.  A man answered saying, "Hello."  I
politely said, "This is Chris.  Could I please speak
with Robyn Carter?"  Suddenly a manic voice yelled out
in my ear, "Get the right stupid number!"  and the
phone was slammed down on me.  I couldn't believe that
anyone could be so rude.  When I tracked down Robyn's
correct number to call her.  I found that I had
accidentally transposed that last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided the call the
'wrong' number again.  When the same guy answered the
phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and hung up.  I
wrote his number down with the word asshole next to
it, and put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had
a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an
asshole!"

It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my
therapeutic "asshole calling" would have to stop.  So,
I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith
from Verizon, I'm calling to see if you're familiar
with our Caller ID Program?"  He yelled "NO!" and
slammed down the phone.  I quickly called him back and
said, "That's because you're an asshole!"

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into
a parking spot.  Some guy in a black BMW cut me off
and pulled in to the spot I had patiently waited for.
I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for
that spot, but the asshole ignored me.  I noticed a "For
Sale" sign in his back window which included his phone
number, so I wrote down the number.

A couple of days later right after calling the first
asshole (I had is number on speed dial) I thought that
I'd better call the BMW idiot, too.  I said, "Is
this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
"Yes, it is," he said.
"Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked.
"Yes, I live at 34 Mowbray, Blvd. in Vaucluse.  It's a
yellow house, and the car's parked right out front."
"What's your name?"  I asked.
"My name is Don Hansen," he said.
"When is a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home every evening after five."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
"Don, you're and asshole!"  Then I hung up, and added
his number to my speed dial, too.  Now, when I had a
problem I had two assholes to call.

Then I came up with an idea.  I called Asshole #1
"Hello. You're and asshole!"  (But, I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you? " He asked.
"My name is Don Hansen."
"Where do you live?"
"Idiot, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse in a
yellow house.  My black beamer is parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don.  And you had
better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole." and
hung up.

Then I called Asshole #2.

"Hello?" he asked.
"Hello asshole," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are...."
"You'll what?"  I asked.
"I'll kick your butt," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well asshole, here's your chance.  I'm
coming over right now."  Then I hung up and
immediately called the police saying that  I lived at
34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, and that I was on my way
over there to kill my gay lover.
Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going
down in Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Mowbray.
I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating
the crap out of each other in from of six cop cars, an
overhead police helicopter and a news crew.

NOW I feel much better.
Anger management really works.....

Why couldn't I get any crack dealers?

2006-09-22T12:16:00.000-07:00

This article in the Onion Daily Newspaper "cracks" me up.

Stay At Home Mom

2006-09-13T11:52:00.000-07:00

Well, I finally have internet! I have been having some serious withdrawals. In fact, I have had a cold for about a week. That is a long time for me. I am certain that my body is punishing me.

I just have to say I HATE MOVING! I used to think that I loved adventure. That I was one of those people that would move and move just for a new experience. Well, this is not true. Actually it might be true if we had money, which we do not. I have been trapped in our dark little basement apartment trying to think of ways to save money. My mom politely tried to tell me that as a stay at home mom, it is my job to save our family money and be creative doing it. Plegh! This is not what I wanted to hear.

However, last weekend I decided to give my little SAHM soul a lift. I attended American Mothers Inc. Interfaith National Conference. It was extremely uplifting. Jane Clayson Johnson spoke, along with Stephen R. Covey and Marla Cilley "The FlyLady." I guess if Jane Clayson can give up her exciting life to be home with her babies, so can I.

2006-08-14T14:43:00.000-07:00

Well it is official. Stephen's last day to be employed with Wal-Mart Stores Inc. will be August 25th, 2006. I am so excited! Stephen got offered a job with Provo College today. We will be leaving at the end of the month. Can I get a hell ya?

It just occurred to me that my husband will be home on Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve! I am soooo excited!

Man's Best Friend

2006-08-04T20:38:00.000-07:00

I have been "one of the guys" for almost as long as I can remember. When I was 6, I was the only girl at an all boy birthday party. Don't get me wrong here. I was never a tomboy. I always liked dainty, girly things. I just always had more guy friends than girls. I never wanted it to be that way. I always wanted to be one of those girls that makes everyone look twice. In college I would get invited to steak night, or when the guys were all getting together to play x-box and get drunk, I was always there. It was crazy to me. I only have brothers. My husband only has brothers. I only have boys. Have I been preparing for the rest of my life all this time? The never ending espn/military channel? Again, don't get me wrong. I love all my "boys," I am happy with my marriage. At this point I don't want men ogling at me, but for hell sakes, if I get told how "awesome" or "cool" I am again, I am going to puke!

Randomness

2006-08-01T13:34:00.000-07:00

Since I first met my husband, he as been pumping me full of useless information. Little known facts that will get a person no where. It is kind of a weird thing he does, but none the less it continues through the years. I want to share some of that randomness today.

Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are register blood donors.

Cuba is the only island in the Caribbean to have a railroad.

In ancient Scotland, every leap year maidens were allowed to ask a man to be her husband, refusal cost him a pound.

Barbie's full name is "Barbara Millicent Roberts."

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

Adolf Hilter's mother seriously considered having an abortion but was talked out it by her doctor.

Queen Victoria eased the discomfort of her menstrual cramps by having her doctor supply her with marijuana.

There you have it. Your useless information for the day.

Simply amazing

2006-06-30T13:16:00.000-07:00

Women are an interesting phenomena. Last night I observed two adult women screaming over a controversial call the umpire made at our softball game last night. Yeah, yeah, yeah, laugh if you will, yes I do play softball. This is not my point. I know both of the women quite well, both are nice, self-reserved women. Why is it that competition brings out the inner bitch in some woman that hasn't previously been seen?

Screaming Baby!

2006-06-18T10:51:00.000-07:00

Right now I am sitting here listening to Remi cry himself to sleep. I have tried so hard this year to keep him on a good schedule like good moms do yada yada yada. He takes a nap every day at 11 AM. It is so nice, except on Sundays. Our church starts at 11 AM. Bad time, no question. Most of the kids there are not happy. I never notice because I can't hear them over Remi's screams of frustration. Today is Father's Day. Everyone at church is trying to have a nice day and we bring Remi, what a joke!

sidenote: Remi has this high pitch squeal that he makes if he is happy, mad, sad, angry, whatever. It is ear piercing and so high that I cannot think of a comparable sound.

Regardless, we are trying to do what we think is good by taking the damn kids to church. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. Today I am in a particularly good mood, so I am sitting in church trying to be a good example for Hunter, but I have the giggles. Hunter keeps singing, "Let's get this party started in here." Remi keeps throwing his head back and hitting the pew in front of his, every time he screams. Then he decides that he wants a crayon, or the entire case of crayons. This is not a good thing, so I take them away, and he screams. It is all very comical. Stephen finally leans over and tells me to take Remi home and put him down for a nap. He can't handle his irreverent family. hehehe Happy Father's Day dad!

No title, just thinking

2006-06-15T07:51:00.000-07:00

Life is interesting. I hate not knowing where it is leading. Why can't I just sit back and enjoy the ride? We have been lucky to have so much family and good friends to support us. We have never been so financially strapped that Stephen had to started stripping at the local all men's club just to get a few extra bucks. We have always had what we needed, when we needed it. Life is good, but still I hate that little feeling in the pit of my stomach that is both exciting and terrifying telling me that it is all about to change. Asking me, "Can you cut it?"

Exhaustion

2006-06-05T19:11:00.000-07:00

Last Friday my baby brother-in-law Spencer got married. He wed at 10 AM in a town about 5 miles from where I live. After that we had a luncheon here and then drove 1 1/2 hours to his home town and the place of the reception. I was about ready to cry from being tired when the whole thing started at 7 PM. We didn't get to eat ANYTHING at the reception for fear of running out for the "real guests." What a load of crap. Anyway, after the reception, I figured we had a pretty eventful day. Apparently I was mistaken. We then loaded into the car and drove about 45 miles to sit in a hot springs in the middle of Podunk, USA. I have to admit, other than the moss, it was pretty nice. Well, lucky for us, Spencer and his new bride were spending their first night of marital bliss 2 miles from the hot pots. hehehe. We trashed the car and got home at about 4 AM. I sure hope they can get all the shampoo off. On Saturday, we had planned a river rafting trip. I was a little nervous because we were taking the kids. Silly me, the river moved so slow that it was practically going backward in places. I guess you can't expect much from a river in the middle of the desert but still, six hours we spent on that damn river and made it all of 3 miles. I am not joking. Not to mention that it was the dirtiest water I think I have ever seen. In fact this may be my last post. I'm pretty sure we are all going to get sick from some strange Sevier water bacteria. Yikes! And now, the crazy idiots are planning another "rafting trip" over the 4th of July. Sheesh. Nah, I'm just joking, it was actually a really good day. My thighs are an interesting shade of red, but all in all it was kind of fun.

Pity party for me

2006-05-30T19:18:00.000-07:00

I have been so restless lately. We were planning on moving this weekend, until about a month ago, now we are not moving until August. Okay, I know it is only a few months, I'm a big baby, blah blah blah. I just want to go somewhere, even if only for a visit. It has become very clear to me that my life is pretty uneventful and boring. In February, my brother-in-law Eric got married. He went on a wonderful cruise. Another brother-in-law, Brad went to Boston with his little wife (I really would love to see that part of the U.S.) Last month I had some friends that went to Europe for a couple of weeks. Then, my parents went to Costa Rica, I have had two friends go to Hawaii, and the youngest brother-in-law Spencer is getting married this weekend and going on the same cruise Eric went on. Stephen and I, by the way, had about $30 to our name when we got married and went snow boarding, only because another brother in law, Andy (there are 4) bought us lift tickets. I am even jealous of two people I don't know. Ian, a fellow blogger, has traveled half way across the world to get a little lovin from his lady. And this other blogger, 49words, is going to Amsterdam for a freakin bachelor's party, only if he can sell his soul to the devil. Which actually makes me feel a little better. Misery loves company, what can I say? So come on people, cheer me up a little, I need some miserable news.

2006-05-17T13:47:00.000-07:00

"Hell is empty.
All the devils are here."

William Shakespeare
"THE TEMPEST"

Moron!

2006-05-16T21:15:00.000-07:00

An intelligent man in Denver, NC burnt down his house this last weekend while trying to snuff his cigarette in a bowl of paint thinner. How stupid does he feel?

At the Zoo

2006-05-08T10:55:00.000-07:00

Someone told me

It's all happening at the zoo.

I do believe it,
I do believe it's true.

It's a light and tumble journey
From the East Side to the park;
Just a fine and fancy ramble

To the zoo.

But you can take the crosstown bus
If it's raining or it's cold,
And the animals will love it
If you do.

Somethin' tells me
It's all happening at the zoo.

The monkeys stand for honesty,
Giraffes are insincere,
And the elephants are kindly but
They're dumb.
Orangutans are skeptical
Of changes in their cages,
And the zookeeper is very fond of rum.

Zebras are reactionaries,

Antelopes are missionaries,
Pigeons plot in secrecy,
And hamsters turn on frequently.
What a gas! You gotta come and see
At the zoo.

I took my kids to the zoo last Friday. The whole day I could not get this song out of my head. Also, the fact that there is an idiot who lives in my community that once tried to pet a zebra. The zebra bit his right pectoral muscle and tried to rip it off his body, resulting in a hunch back and crooked neck. Moral of the story: Never pet a zebra. Aren't you glad that you read my blog today to learn this important lesson?

What am I going to do with you?

2006-04-21T13:52:00.000-07:00

In a few months I will officially be a stay-at-home mom. Today has been a really slow day with work so I have had some time to spend with the little kiddies. It is almost 3 PM and Remi has been asleep since just before 11 AM. Now normally this would be the highlight of my life and I would go crazy getting things done. Except for the fact that I have not motivation. Anyhow, I am getting a little away from my point. I don't have that much work. Hunter is in riding around in his hummer. I should be doing something productive with him like reading or some crap like that. In the past when I haven't done "mom" type of things I have always used the excuse of having work to do. I had myself completely fooled too. But, today it occurred to me that I am going to have to step up and be an active mother. Yokes! What I am supposed to do with 2 little kids all day?

2006-04-19T14:04:00.000-07:00

I am having the worst day. Our friends brother died last week. He was a heroine addict and had been taking methodone to try and come off it. He was also bipolar. I don't know how much any of you know about methadone, but it is wicked strong. Ben would go to the clinic every day and had to take it there in front of them. The clinic is closed on Sundays, so on Saturday he got two pills. I think he was taking his methodone in the morning and the bipolar medication in the evenings. The bipolar stuff made him really groggy. He took it and went to sleep. He woke up a couple hours later and took another methadone. He must have thought it was the next day. The two doses were taken too close together and he died. I am just sick about it. No one in my family has started into heroine (hopefully) but still I get so upset when I here about drug ODs, even if it is accidental.

I survived!

2006-04-18T14:00:00.000-07:00

I grew up traveling the Western United States and Canada camping with my family. Apparently I have had a somewhat distorted view of camping. This weekend, I really camped. I stayed in a tent outside of St. George, UT at a place called Red Cliffs. It was a fun and interesting trip. My husband and his family love to camp. In fact when his oldest brother Brad got married, his wife requested a camping theme bridal shower. She was given food storage theme on instead. (Weird, I know, but true.) When I got married I was asked what I wanted. I said anything but camping. Camping stuff is all I received, (none of the good stuff.) My husband absolutely loves to be outdoors, dirty and all that jazz. We have of course compromised, but still I am not too thrilled with the whole idea. We left Remi with my mother, thank goodness, and Hunter got to be an only child. He loved it.

It rained half of the time we were there. The sun came out enough to dry everything up and give me a few more freckles, not that I need any more. I love being around Stephen's brothers and their families. It makes me feel so normal. The worst thing anyone is addicted to in that family is diet Pepsi. hehehe. I love it!

Well, anyway, I have nothing to exciting to report, not that I ever do. I am nervous now that my inlaws have discovered my secret outlet of a blog, I can't think of anything to say or write about. Yikes!

The End

2006-04-03T19:14:00.000-07:00

I am officially at the end of my rope. I think I might strangle someone. I don't know how many of you live in apartments and get to experience having very close neighbors. If you have not yet experienced it, don't. I have a single mom that lives above me with two girls, ages 6 and 4. That's not too bad. The mom is nice, the girls are sweet. Whatever, I'm easy. The mom has 4 siblings and her mother over ALL the time. It is so noisy. It sounds like the biggest thunderstorm any time they are up there. I have tried to be really nice about the whole situation. I am after all the manager, anything I say comes across really mean and bitchy. Last night, however, I had it. My family goes to bed early. Before the time change here, my boys were asleep no later than 7 PM, now it is more like 8. I am usually in bed pretty quick thereafter. I don't go to sleep until around 9:30. I get up every morning at 5 AM so that I can try and lose some of my fat ars. I realize that not everyone lives like this, and that is great. If I were thin and had no children, or a job, I would probably sleep until noon, but that is not my situation. Anyway, those kids are running around until about 11:30 every night. My lights on my ceiling keep clanking from them jumping on the floor directly above the fixture. Sidenote: I may be having a little hormone issues right now, and should not be held liable for rash behavior over little things. I stood on my bed and pounded on the ceiling with all my might. Then today when I saw the mother I let her have it in the nicest way I could muster up. One of her brothers has a girlfriend that is always up there too. She always sits in the stairwell and smokes and then throws her cigarette butts anywhere convenient for her. Another sidenote: The garbage dumpster sits not five steps from my front door. I do not smoke. I am not terribly prejudice against those that do, but I do not want to have it blown into my front door. Plus she keeps using my planter as an ash tray. I lost it on the girlfriend too. I told her no more smoking in the stairwell and to never use my things as ash trays again. Now, if someone had talked to me the way that I was talking to her, I would have been ticked. She just laughed and went back inside. Oooooohhhhh, that made me even more mad. My kids have been little shits today, my baby had to get more shots, I picked up garbage all day, and then she was laughing at me. I think I might lose it and strangle her! I don't even care about being the big bad bitch anymore.

Islander Babies?

2006-03-30T11:34:00.000-07:00

My friend and I were talking pictures of our kids this morning. Last week we went and watched our friend preform the Haka dance. After that we decided to play dress up.

Hunter, trying his best to look stern.

Tyler, watching t.v. :)

Remi, also watching t.v. :)

And Sisilia, frowning because of the snow.

Anyway, it was fun. I was so excited about how cute they turned out that I had to blog them.

I hate that

2006-03-24T10:41:00.000-07:00

It has recently occurred to me that I am a grumpy, ornery, cranky woman. Today, I dislike most things. Okay, that was being a little too nice. Let me start over. Today, I hate most things:

I hate the college kids that live down the road that stare at every car which passes. I drive a red windstar. I think it is obvious that you do not want to hit on me. So don't stare at me. Plus, I'm not that much older than any of you little brats. I just drive a van!

I hate getting up in the mornings to work out and then feeling like shit for the rest of the day. Why do I need to work out? Why can't I be content with being a bigger girl?

I hate it when people pick at their ears and then examine the findings. It is earwax people! You haven't struck gold.

I hate it when I have everything in the world to do, but I am bored. What the freak is my problem?

I hate waiting in line at the grocery store.

I hate balancing the checkbook, paying bills, and keeping track of all finances!

I hate moving.

I hate life!

That is all.

Just having one of those wonderful, "I suck" days.

Noses to the Grindstone

2006-03-07T08:56:00.000-07:00

I've got my nose back to the grindstone. The kids are back and so is the cold weather. Yuck! Actually it is just rain so I am happy.

While my kids were gone, I was surprisingly productive. We are preparing to move in May. I cleaned out our storage room. We took a car load and a half to the thrift store. Now I can just pack stuff up and send it to the storage room. I was able to go through toys and give up 1/4 of them. That was easy without Hunter telling me that every toy is his favorite, special toy.

All in all, it was a nice break from regular life. Now I am back to it. Remi is sitting in his high chair yelling at me because he wants the rest of Hunter's breakfast. Ahhh my life is wonderful.

No kids!

2006-03-02T09:30:00.000-07:00

I am officially kid free. My inlaws and parents have taken over my children for a few days, leaving me with all the time in the world. I ran stairs this morning. Yuck! I am now preparing for a relaxing bubble bath with no fingers sticking under the door, and no children yelling at me for a drink. Lazy dayz!

Snow Day

2006-02-21T06:33:00.000-07:00

This first year that I was married it snowed here on the 2nd day of May. No joke. It melted that same day, but snowed none the less. Every year since then we have had frozen roads and white lands from about November through late April. This year has been different. It didn't even snow until mid-January. I, unlike everyone else that lives here, have been happy. I can deal with rain, but the snow has to be plowed and shoveled. That part, I hate. My family, however loves the snow.

We finally took our boys last Monday to go tubing. We went to our golf course and slid down the driving range. I went kicking and screaming, but I have to admit that it was pretty fun. We went with our friends and their kids. I have to tell you that there is nothing funnier than seeing a baby that can't even walk desperate to be a big boy. Remi was hysterical

I am so sick of the snow. I love the fall and the summer, but I cannot stand being cooped up any longer. Sick kids, cold toes, I hate it all. Yuck! Yuck! Yuck!

Ticas everywhere beware

2006-02-09T16:51:00.000-07:00

Okay, this is my youngest brother Tony. He was skim
boarding in St. George when I took this picture. The damn fool is a natural at pretty much everything he does. For that I have always been jealous. He has always been a ladies man too. It kills me. I never had guys look at me twice and everyone would have killed just to be near him. He has recently moved far, far away to the exotic land of Costa Rica. I was chatting with him yesterday about the country and the people. He said that he was fat compared to everyone else there. This picture is probably about 5 years old, but I think it is a good one. That is all I have to say. Also, ticas look out Tony is on the loose, you never know when you will fall into his trap. he he he

Damn Cute Kids

2006-02-08T14:28:00.000-07:00

We have had the weekend from hell. Stephen's younger brother got married and we had the pleasure of attending two receptions. When it was all said and done, It think we all had a pretty good time. I did however click on a link the other day showing a new superduper shopping center. The first thing I saw was a flower store. I immediately got sick to my stomach. I thought that it would be at least two weeks before I had to see another flower. Ugh flowers and weddings. On a happier note, I will be sending my children to New Hampshire for day care, it will be worth 65% of my take home pay to laugh at someone else trying to keep Remi from eating everything he sees. We couldn't get a good picture of our boys at the wedding because Remi wouldn't stop eating for 2 seconds to smile at the camera. Hunter, on the other hand wouldn't stop and eat for 2 seconds because he was busy smiling at the camera. Go figure.

Parent's Curse

2006-01-30T09:20:00.000-07:00

Every time I see someone that knew me as a little girl they always are surprised to see me as a productive adult. Most of them tell me some horror story about some dastardly deed that I involved one of their children in. Well I think that I have received the revenge that I deserve. The other day while I was getting our family ready to leave town for a few days, Remi was in the front room being so quiet and good. I was in other room quickly finishing up some last minutes things. I was actually excited that he was being so good. This never happens. That should have been my first clue. I snuck up behind the couch and peeked over to see this.

I definitely get the mommy award today.

Tag

2006-01-19T06:46:00.000-07:00

Mi'Chelle tagged me or something like that. Anyway, I hope you brought a bed to lie down on and take a quick snooze because I have had a pretty booooring and uneventful life, hence the awe that I have for everyone else.

Four jobs I've had:
1. burger girl at a ball park-lots of cute boys
2. facilitator Ed-net (incredibily exciting- yawn yawn)
3. night manager at Pepperbelly's Restaurant (tex-mex food)
4. LIHTC site manager

Four movies I could watch over and over, and have
1. Can't Buy Me Love; gotta love Patrick Dempsey
2. Napolean Dynamite
3. Pretty in Pink
4. Tommy Boy (please, please don't tell anyone)

Four places I have lived
1. Provo, UT
2. Delta, UT
3. Ephraim, UT
4.
Okay, pretty boooring, but what can I say? I'm content

Four t.v. shows I love to watch
1. Survivor
2. The Office
3. Arrested Development
4. Related, ha ha I know the WB, my husband laughs at me all the time too

Four places I have been on vacation
1. Yellowstone National Park
2. Alberta, Canada
3. Seattle, WA
4. Pismo Beach, CA
pretty much vacations in our family always revolve around seeing other family

Four web sites I visit daily
1. Flylady
2. Utah State University, I am desperately trying to get my husband through school
3. blogs, but only the really good ones
4. USA Today

Four of my favorite foods
I like anything I don't have to make
1. fish, polynesian style, basically meaning Fred makes it, not me
2. funeral potatoes by Jerry, also not me
3. roast and potatoes by my mother, again not me
4. pancakes, only by Stephen, which is of course not me
I have been spoiled by all the men in my life that cook. It is a horrible rotten life I lead.

Four places I would rather be right now.
1. Snowboarding
2. Lake Powell, well maybe not right now, but in the summer
3. Costa Rica, but not during rainy season, hell I would go any season
4. Sri Lanka- we are looking to move to Hong Kong in about 5 years, so hopefully we get there too

Four people I'll tag next
1. Tiffany
2. crap I can't think of anyone else that would want to.

I do say

2006-01-16T13:52:00.000-07:00

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."

Yah yah yah, as long as they are U.S. citizens. Apparently no one else matters.

Would you like a smoke?

2006-01-10T16:02:00.000-07:00

I was reading today about health. Interestingly enough, I found out that men who smoke cigarettes do not enjoy sex as much as men that do not. At least for heavy smokers. Although I myself do not smoke, I can seen how it would be desired by some. I'll give you that, but for pity sake what about your love life?

Happy Freakin' New Year!

2006-01-02T14:32:00.000-07:00

Another year has come and gone. La de freakin da. No I am just kidding. The holidays were crazy as ever. We spent Christmas at Stephen's mom's house with everyone in his family. It was complete mayhem. Then on Christmas day we went down to my parents house, (our families live in the same community basically) and opened gifts with them. This year Stephen got the day after Christmas off, amazingly enough. We had fun. Now it is back to work. Right now I am trying to get up the nerve to do my work. I hate the end of the year for that. People keep calling me with the stupidest question and I might scream, thank goodness for caller id.

Every horse has it's day

2005-12-27T14:52:00.000-07:00

Here is a Christmas horse parade for your viewing pleasure! I don't see that every day.

You're Killing Me Smalls

2005-12-22T13:55:00.000-07:00

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day that is pregnant with her 3rd child. It was completely unexpected and unplanned for. As far as she was concerned, they were done having kids. She is having a really hard time being excited and wanting this new person in their family. The question was brought up of what life would be like without our children. I have thought and thought about that. I would probably have my masters degree by now. No biggy, I can get that later. The biggest difference would be silence. Right now it is about 2:00 in the afternoon. Hunter has talked non-stop since he woke up at 7:30. He is killing me. Apparently he is not getting enough attention or some crap like that. Fine, let's spend quiet time together. Can't a mom get a break around here? I think I am going insane. But then, when I think that I am going to explode and throw everyone out the door. I walk into the living room and Hunter is giving Remi a big ol' kiss.

I guess I can surivive. Hunter, however won't be kissing his brother again anytime soon...... Remi is an open mouth kisser. Ha!

Friends

2005-12-18T21:00:00.000-07:00

Nice Friendship Quote : "A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." -- Bernard Meltzer.

So I have been thinking today about Christmas and my family and all the friends that we have had through the years. Man, we have had some good ones. I have two highlights in my week. The first is checking to see if Stephen's little brother has emailed me, usually a disappointment-he has too many adoring fans that need his immediate attention. The second is checking on my friends. I usually log onto my blog and then check Mi'Chelle's blog and then Tiff's. It is seriously the highlight in my day of dirty diapers, crying kids, and people asking me stupid questions about stupid apartments. I also have another routine that consists of calling my local friends to check and see if they still love me. I'm sure it is quite tedious for them, but I am always glad to hear that they haven't written me off just yet. So, this one goes out all of my friends that have stood by me through the years and provide a light that I cannot obtain myself. Thanks for overlooking my cracks.

Reality Check

2005-12-08T14:37:00.000-07:00

This is a Shake and Go Speedway Raceway. It is our first in many of "I have to have that from Santa" gifts. I have been trying to get Hunter to write a letter to Santa for two and a half weeks. Each time he has asked for all the things that he already has. I have been trying to explain that Santa brings different things every year. Well, finally it clicked. He saw it on a commercial and then a friend of ours was helping Santa out and buying one for his son at Wal-Mart. Luckily we had one left at our Santa's work shop (wink wink). I guess they are a real hot item. Now my nephew wants one. He he he. I hope they can find it. Anyway, I was excited and scared at the same time. Happy that Hunter is understanding finally and scared because we almost didn't get it. The panic was setting in and I was getting desperate. I don't want to start down that path. You know that type of parents I am talking about, spending thousands of dollars just to get their kids the thing they "have" to have. Yuck. I have definitely had a reality check.

O' Christmas Tree

2005-12-05T11:28:00.000-07:00

Alas, I have come up with a plan for a Remi-proof Christmas tree. Hunter was 12 months old for his first Christmas. He played with the tree a little, but nothing I couldn't handle. Remi, on the other hand, is only happy when something is in his mouth. Anything from the floor couch or pretty much two feet off the floor. Plus, he is strong. I know that he could pull our entire tree right on top of him. Also, I am lazy and didn't want to move the piano across the parking lot into storage just for a tree. I been trying to find the perfect little tree for on top of my grandma's sewing machine. Finally here it is, or here they are.

After all trees are a wonderful symbol of Christmas. "The evergreen of everlasting life, pointing heavenward." And I couldn't find a star so another symbol of Christmas, the bow will have to do. "Tied in the bonds of brotherly love." Don't you just love Christmas?

I Believe in Santa Claus

2005-12-01T12:18:00.000-07:00

"Sometimes I hear people complain that the department stores put up Christmas decorations too early. Or they say that the merchandisers are only thinking of commercial gain when they advertise with lights and decorations. For me, Christmas symbols cannot be displayed too early or too much. The wreaths, the lights, the red bows, the decorated trees, the presents, all remind me of the true meaning of Christmas. I say "thank you" to the people of the world who spend time and money to make lovely displays of gifts and decorations. They are advertising the spirit of Christmas. They are reminding me of Christ."

----Diane G. Adamson

I believe in Santa Claus.

Imagine Santa.

What is he like?

He wears red.

His hair is white.

He comes in the night.

He loves little children.

He wants us to be good.

And he brings gifts.

Now imagine Jesus.

What is he like?

His hair is white.

He comes in the night.

He loves little children.

He knows we are good.

And he brings gifts.

Santa Claus is a symbol of Christmas.

The symbols of Christmas can remind us of the true meaning of Christmas.

The symbols of Christmas remind me of Christ.

So, I believe in Santa Claus.

---Diane G. Adamson

Crazy month

2005-11-21T15:26:00.000-07:00

Wow! We have had a crazy month. We took this picture down by Kanab. I am the proud owner of a canyon. he he he I can't believe that Thanksgiving is this week. Yikes! Of course Stephen has to work the night of BLACK FRIDAY eve, or Blitz as it is called in the Wal-Mart world. We are having Thanksgiving dinner in our little apartment. I am actually pretty excited. We have some dear friends coming and my parents. This month has been grim, but hopefully this wonderful time of year with lighten everyone's spirits and bring joy. We all have so much to be thankful for.

Halloween

2005-11-04T08:58:00.000-07:00

We had a blast this year for Halloween. The weekend before we went to Stephen's parents house for a family party. It was hilarious. We did a pinata. A witch. A wicked witch at that. The dang thing would not break. Funny funny.

The kids all dressed up, but of course our camera was being silly and didn't work real well. I took our kids pictures again when we got home and actually went trick or treating, but the others were no good. Hunter was the dragon on Shrek and Remi was a gorilla.

Hunter kept growling at everyone
telling people he was scary,
but we all know otherwise

Remi was not always
happy to be a little gorilla,
but he was sure a cute one.

Starvin' Marvin

2005-10-24T10:40:00.000-07:00

Stephen got the bright idea to take all of Remi's clothes off and let him eat spaghetti. Hunter we have had to practically force feed. It seems like we actually did for a while until he learned he could throw anything we put in his mouth up. Needless to say food hasn't been Hunter's big thing. Remi on the other hand can't get enough. He acts like he is starving to death half the time. It was histerical! Stephen made the comment while trying to clean all the sauce off of Remi, that he was like the tuperware bowl that never should've been microwaved, the spaghetti stains will never come off.

Our Favorite Guy

2005-10-23T17:28:00.000-07:00

Okay so this one goes out to a special guy living in Independence, Missouri. He not just any guy. This pink tie wearing fellow is Stephen's youngest brother Spencer. What a hottie! He is hilarious. I met Spenny when he was about thirteen years old, maybe fourteen at best. He was cute even then. I remember girls calling him all the time! It was the funniest thing I had ever seen. My little brother Tony was usually trying to work the scene, but not Spencer. He didn't care one little bit. He would sit and watch t.v. mumbling, "uh, uh," ever once in a while to keep his part of the conversation up. Heeelarious. He grew up and no longer mumbles, I think. He is now quite a guy and some kind of leader. Girls are still crazy about him. My kids love him. Well Remi has never met him, but Hunter is totally in love with him. Spencer had a friend in high school named Ryan. They were funny. Hunter heard them listening to that Top Loader song, "Dancin' in the Moonlight," once. Now everytime he hears it he tells me, "Mom, this is Spencer's song." He will be moving home in January of next year. We are sooooo excited. What a great guy!

The Light

2005-10-17T11:08:00.000-07:00

May your heart be full,

your mind strong,
your roots secure.
May you always seek the road ahead with courage & cheer.
May you continue to look to the light.

I stole this quote off of Mi'Chelle's scrap book page. I loved it so much. Children are always looking to the light.

For Sale

2005-10-15T15:06:00.000-07:00

Today I decided to play a little joke on our friend Chris. he he he. I went to the store looking for a For Sale sign to put on his cute little camry. The sign was too small, so I found glass chalk. Inspirational! he he he. When we went to buy the sign, we saw him. Hunter had to start yelling his name, "Oh good," I think. He is at a register, he he he, he doesn't suspect a thing. He smiles and waves. Sucker! I am, at this point starting to feel a little guilty about the whole thing. Good thing Stephen was there to gourd me on. I could have done it in the morning before he went to lunch, but I decided to wait until after he had lunch. Pranks go over better on a full stomach and his car would be sitting in the parking lot longer. Of course he always parks in the last stall. Perfect! I wrote his work number on both of the side windows. Hilarious! While I was decorating, as it were, two people stopped to ask me about the car. On my way home, my conscience started to get to me again. I stopped at my house long enough to get my camera. I called Stephen on my way out to see if anyone had called. Well I guess $500 is a pretty good offer so, yeah people were calling. I decided that he had enough and went to clean up the mess so he would never even know. Of course, he came walking out in the middle of me washing his window. Sometimes, I kill myself. Hopefully, he is not too mad and understands how boring and monotonous my life can be. Sometimes a mom has to do what a mom has to do. Gotta luv ya Chris.

Remi is my best friend.

2005-10-12T06:00:00.000-07:00

Something occured to me last night as I was trying to get Remi to stop screaming. Hunter is a bigger help than hinderance. Remi was hysterical, Hunter walked into the Room and started talking to him. He immediately calmed down and started to smile. Any time Hunter is even in the room, Remi watches him like he is the most amazing thing ever. Remi has pretty short patience when Hunter is bugging him. But, for the most part, he loves his brother. The same is true for Hunter. He realizes that this little baby has really put a crimp in his only me and my parents, the whole world revolves around moi, lifestyle. He doesn't care. Every morning when he wakes up, he needs to know that Remi is okay. He told me the other day. "Mom, Remi is my best friend."

Rough Day

2005-10-10T16:08:00.000-07:00

The day started out bad. 5:15 AM: Yuck, too early to work out and then go walking. I'll work out after walking and sleep 30 more minutes. 5:45 AM: I hate life and my friends that I walk with. They are torturing me on purpose and are probably enjoying it too. 6:05 AM: It is freakin' cold and I am hoping that today will be a no show, I can go home and get back in bed...mmm nice warm bed. 6:06 AM: "Lydia!" Damn, Kim is up and ready to walk too. I think she is a maniac. 6:20 AM: We are turning the corner to head up to 4th east. I really like Kim. She always has so many insightful things to tell me about life and grown up stuff. What a good day this will be. I will go home, lift weights, shower and be ready for the kids when they wake up. Yes! What a way to start my day. 6:45 AM: Remi is up with Stephen. Little snot. I think Stephen probably woke him up on purpose, just to drain my day. 7:30 AM: Remi is still up and now so is his partner in crime. Hunter wants pancakes again. Not my favorite anymore. 8:00 AM: The day is starting to look up for me. Remi went to sleep. Finally I can get something done around my pigsty. 8:30 AM: Don't get too excited he's awake again. I am starting to really really dislike this day. No sleeping at all, why won't someone teach this boy about sleeping for extended periods of time. Am I being punished for that one time in college? 12:00 PM: Stephen finally decides to come home for a few minutes to help me out. Not likely, he is just here to eat. He does however feed the baby. Brownie points for him. Nice break. 12:45 PM: Please don't leave me, please, please, please. He tells me that he has to. We need money to pay the bills or some crap like that. He is also in on the conspiracy. 1:15 PM Redemption is near. Remi is asleep again. 1:30 PM: Still asleep this might really work. Maybe I can do some of my things for work. Probably not, he will be up again soon. 2:15 PM: Sleeping, what a good little boy. Maybe he really does love me. 2:30 PM: Not likely. Why? I ask myself. What is your deal? I ask him. I am hoping that he is teething, otherwise I am selling him on the black market. Anyway, it has been a rough day!

Back in '82, I could throw a pig skin 1/4 of a mile.

2005-10-09T18:42:00.000-07:00

Remember when everything was perfect? When, if the coach would have put you in during the 4th quarter you would have been state champs no doubt? Well, my husband and his buddies are trying to relive the glory days. Hilarious! All of the big talk and spouting off to one another finally came to a head as they played football last week. Not just any game of football, but touch football, didn't want anyone getting too hurt. Stephen, Chris, Lupe, Brandon, Roger, and some guy that was along for the ride. Now, I have spent a considerable amount of time listening to Stephen and Brandon tell me how wonderful they both are. Chris every once in a while has to put in a plug just to remind himself that he is not that old. I don't know Roger all that well so I never hear anything from him. Mostly just Brandon. He talks the big talk. Lupe, however never says a word. I have always just assumed maybe he never played ball or was into athletics. He is pretty quiet, or at least I think he is, one would never know with Stephen and Brandon spouting off like a couple of girls in gym class. Anyway, I noticed that he never brags about himself or his past. Well, last Thursday evening he showed, not told why. He was quick, swift and on the ball. He turned the after burners on. It was amazing. Here this quiet soft spoken guy was kicking the crap out of the big mouths. Sure every one else got in their shots too, but not like this. It was amazing. I dont' even think he was sore the next day. I didn't think Stephen or Brandon would walk for a week. I sat on the sidelines taking pictures like a good wife. Brandon of course got some good poses in.

Stephen was just happy to be there and apart of the game.

Chris surpised everyone by leaving them in his dust.

All in all it was a pretty good game, and I think that everyone had a good time. Everyone went home feeling good.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We were the quintessence of athletic atrocity.

-Mike Newlin

At last my moment has come.

2005-10-06T10:03:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I'm not one of those moms that spends all day enjoying every moment with her kids. Usually at some point during the day I try to tear all of my hair out and want to run and hide. Remi is a little time consuming. Little being defined as: if he is awake. He has been getting up earlier and earlier every morning. I tried explaining to him the rules of the house. Rule #1 being do not wake up before 9:00 AM if you are under 23 years of age. Hunter has always been so good at following this rule. He would even give me an extra hour sometimes. Well not his brother. I get home from walking around 7:00 AM . My goal is to be showered and dressed before the boys get up. Well usually that is completely hopeless, but not yesterday. I took a picture of the clock to prove his actual wakeup time.

It was a wonderful morning and to makes things better, he has started watching t.v. Now, I know that kids watch way too much television blah blah blah. It is wonderful!! He sat without needing immediate attention for at least 30 minutes. I even walked in and out of the room several times. I was so amazed.

This is him giving me the glossy stare that he was also giving the beautiful girl on t.v. I know you are dying to know who has made my life so good. Well I won't keep you waiting a second longer.

Ddddddora, Dora, Dora, Dora the Explorer.

Isn't t.v. nice?

Little Miss Attitude

2005-10-04T06:43:00.000-07:00

I want you to meet little miss attitude. She is my niece McKenzie Ann. What a hottie! My mom and I always say that if Kenzie had been born first, we would have thought there was something wrong with the boys. She is so quick at everything. But, still controls every situation to her own advantage. I have been trying to get a cute picture of her forever now. She usually turns her head and will not look at me, or just scowl with all the contempt in the world. Stephen finally got her to smile on the 4th of July. However, she would only give up a framed, "I'll humor you Uncle Stephen because you throw me in the air and make me laugh" smile. Also, after every picture she had to see the image to give her approval before taking another. Oh what would the world be like without our wonderful little miss attitude?

Joy

2005-09-30T20:25:00.000-07:00

I have heard that everyone is responsible for their own joy. For some reason this hits me hard, right between the eyes. I am the reason that I have hard days, that I get upset and unhappy. It is my fault, not the world around me, that a good day goes bad. Every morning I get up to go walking with a couple of dear friends. Both inspire me and help me to be better. Each time the alarm clock goes off, I think about how hard the day is going to be, and how tired I am going to feel getting up at 5:45 AM. I know I gasp at the thought too. Yet, on the days that I manage to pull my sorry butt out of bed, the day is better all ready. I have a good life. My husband loves me and needs me despite all of my faults and angry episodes. I have two little boys that think the world of him and always manage to entertain me with their sweet little smiles. Yet somehow, at the end of the day, I find myself feeling bad. Why you ask yourself? I'll tell you. I have been irresponsible with my feelings and actions. Right here, right now I am rededicate myself to being responsible for my own joy! How at the end of the day can anyone be sad with these little smiles lighting the way? So, I will say it again, "everyone is responsible for their own joy." Know it, love it, do it!