Well it is official. Stephen's last day to be employed with Wal-Mart Stores Inc. will be August 25th, 2006. I am so excited! Stephen got offered a job with Provo College today. We will be leaving at the end of the month. Can I get a hell ya?

It just occurred to me that my husband will be home on Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve! I am soooo excited!

Man's Best Friend

I have been "one of the guys" for almost as long as I can remember. When I was 6, I was the only girl at an all boy birthday party. Don't get me wrong here. I was never a tomboy. I always liked dainty, girly things. I just always had more guy friends than girls. I never wanted it to be that way. I always wanted to be one of those girls that makes everyone look twice. In college I would get invited to steak night, or when the guys were all getting together to play x-box and get drunk, I was always there. It was crazy to me. I only have brothers. My husband only has brothers. I only have boys. Have I been preparing for the rest of my life all this time? The never ending espn/military channel? Again, don't get me wrong. I love all my "boys," I am happy with my marriage. At this point I don't want men ogling at me, but for hell sakes, if I get told how "awesome" or "cool" I am again, I am going to puke!

Randomness

Since I first met my husband, he as been pumping me full of useless information. Little known facts that will get a person no where. It is kind of a weird thing he does, but none the less it continues through the years. I want to share some of that randomness today.

Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are register blood donors.

Cuba is the only island in the Caribbean to have a railroad.

In ancient Scotland, every leap year maidens were allowed to ask a man to be her husband, refusal cost him a pound.

Barbie's full name is "Barbara Millicent Roberts."

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

Adolf Hilter's mother seriously considered having an abortion but was talked out it by her doctor.

Queen Victoria eased the discomfort of her menstrual cramps by having her doctor supply her with marijuana.


There you have it. Your useless information for the day.

Simply amazing

Women are an interesting phenomena. Last night I observed two adult women screaming over a controversial call the umpire made at our softball game last night. Yeah, yeah, yeah, laugh if you will, yes I do play softball. This is not my point. I know both of the women quite well, both are nice, self-reserved women. Why is it that competition brings out the inner bitch in some woman that hasn't previously been seen?

Screaming Baby!

Right now I am sitting here listening to Remi cry himself to sleep. I have tried so hard this year to keep him on a good schedule like good moms do yada yada yada. He takes a nap every day at 11 AM. It is so nice, except on Sundays. Our church starts at 11 AM. Bad time, no question. Most of the kids there are not happy. I never notice because I can't hear them over Remi's screams of frustration. Today is Father's Day. Everyone at church is trying to have a nice day and we bring Remi, what a joke!

sidenote: Remi has this high pitch squeal that he makes if he is happy, mad, sad, angry, whatever. It is ear piercing and so high that I cannot think of a comparable sound.

Regardless, we are trying to do what we think is good by taking the damn kids to church. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. Today I am in a particularly good mood, so I am sitting in church trying to be a good example for Hunter, but I have the giggles. Hunter keeps singing, "Let's get this party started in here." Remi keeps throwing his head back and hitting the pew in front of his, every time he screams. Then he decides that he wants a crayon, or the entire case of crayons. This is not a good thing, so I take them away, and he screams. It is all very comical. Stephen finally leans over and tells me to take Remi home and put him down for a nap. He can't handle his irreverent family. hehehe Happy Father's Day dad!

No title, just thinking

Life is interesting. I hate not knowing where it is leading. Why can't I just sit back and enjoy the ride? We have been lucky to have so much family and good friends to support us. We have never been so financially strapped that Stephen had to started stripping at the local all men's club just to get a few extra bucks. We have always had what we needed, when we needed it. Life is good, but still I hate that little feeling in the pit of my stomach that is both exciting and terrifying telling me that it is all about to change. Asking me, "Can you cut it?"

Exhaustion

Last Friday my baby brother-in-law Spencer got married. He wed at 10 AM in a town about 5 miles from where I live. After that we had a luncheon here and then drove 1 1/2 hours to his home town and the place of the reception. I was about ready to cry from being tired when the whole thing started at 7 PM. We didn't get to eat ANYTHING at the reception for fear of running out for the "real guests." What a load of crap. Anyway, after the reception, I figured we had a pretty eventful day. Apparently I was mistaken. We then loaded into the car and drove about 45 miles to sit in a hot springs in the middle of Podunk, USA. I have to admit, other than the moss, it was pretty nice. Well, lucky for us, Spencer and his new bride were spending their first night of marital bliss 2 miles from the hot pots. hehehe. We trashed the car and got home at about 4 AM. I sure hope they can get all the shampoo off. On Saturday, we had planned a river rafting trip. I was a little nervous because we were taking the kids. Silly me, the river moved so slow that it was practically going backward in places. I guess you can't expect much from a river in the middle of the desert but still, six hours we spent on that damn river and made it all of 3 miles. I am not joking. Not to mention that it was the dirtiest water I think I have ever seen. In fact this may be my last post. I'm pretty sure we are all going to get sick from some strange Sevier water bacteria. Yikes! And now, the crazy idiots are planning another "rafting trip" over the 4th of July. Sheesh. Nah, I'm just joking, it was actually a really good day. My thighs are an interesting shade of red, but all in all it was kind of fun.

Pity party for me

I have been so restless lately. We were planning on moving this weekend, until about a month ago, now we are not moving until August. Okay, I know it is only a few months, I'm a big baby, blah blah blah. I just want to go somewhere, even if only for a visit. It has become very clear to me that my life is pretty uneventful and boring. In February, my brother-in-law Eric got married. He went on a wonderful cruise. Another brother-in-law, Brad went to Boston with his little wife (I really would love to see that part of the U.S.) Last month I had some friends that went to Europe for a couple of weeks. Then, my parents went to Costa Rica, I have had two friends go to Hawaii, and the youngest brother-in-law Spencer is getting married this weekend and going on the same cruise Eric went on. Stephen and I, by the way, had about $30 to our name when we got married and went snow boarding, only because another brother in law, Andy (there are 4) bought us lift tickets. I am even jealous of two people I don't know. Ian, a fellow blogger, has traveled half way across the world to get a little lovin from his lady. And this other blogger, 49words, is going to Amsterdam for a freakin bachelor's party, only if he can sell his soul to the devil. Which actually makes me feel a little better. Misery loves company, what can I say? So come on people, cheer me up a little, I need some miserable news.

"Hell is empty.
All the devils are here."


William Shakespeare
"THE TEMPEST"

Moron!

An intelligent man in Denver, NC burnt down his house this last weekend while trying to snuff his cigarette in a bowl of paint thinner. How stupid does he feel?

At the Zoo

Someone told me

It's all happening at the zoo.

I do believe it,
I do believe it's true.

It's a light and tumble journey
From the East Side to the park;
Just a fine and fancy ramble

To the zoo.

But you can take the crosstown bus
If it's raining or it's cold,
And the animals will love it
If you do.

Somethin' tells me
It's all happening at the zoo.

The monkeys stand for honesty,
Giraffes are insincere,
And the elephants are kindly but
They're dumb.
Orangutans are skeptical
Of changes in their cages,
And the zookeeper is very fond of rum.

Zebras are reactionaries,

Antelopes are missionaries,
Pigeons plot in secrecy,
And hamsters turn on frequently.
What a gas! You gotta come and see
At the zoo.





I took my kids to the zoo last Friday. The whole day I could not get this song out of my head. Also, the fact that there is an idiot who lives in my community that once tried to pet a zebra. The zebra bit his right pectoral muscle and tried to rip it off his body, resulting in a hunch back and crooked neck. Moral of the story: Never pet a zebra. Aren't you glad that you read my blog today to learn this important lesson?

What am I going to do with you?

In a few months I will officially be a stay-at-home mom. Today has been a really slow day with work so I have had some time to spend with the little kiddies. It is almost 3 PM and Remi has been asleep since just before 11 AM. Now normally this would be the highlight of my life and I would go crazy getting things done. Except for the fact that I have not motivation. Anyhow, I am getting a little away from my point. I don't have that much work. Hunter is in riding around in his hummer. I should be doing something productive with him like reading or some crap like that. In the past when I haven't done "mom" type of things I have always used the excuse of having work to do. I had myself completely fooled too. But, today it occurred to me that I am going to have to step up and be an active mother. Yokes! What I am supposed to do with 2 little kids all day?

I am having the worst day. Our friends brother died last week. He was a heroine addict and had been taking methodone to try and come off it. He was also bipolar. I don't know how much any of you know about methadone, but it is wicked strong. Ben would go to the clinic every day and had to take it there in front of them. The clinic is closed on Sundays, so on Saturday he got two pills. I think he was taking his methodone in the morning and the bipolar medication in the evenings. The bipolar stuff made him really groggy. He took it and went to sleep. He woke up a couple hours later and took another methadone. He must have thought it was the next day. The two doses were taken too close together and he died. I am just sick about it. No one in my family has started into heroine (hopefully) but still I get so upset when I here about drug ODs, even if it is accidental.

I survived!

I grew up traveling the Western United States and Canada camping with my family. Apparently I have had a somewhat distorted view of camping. This weekend, I really camped. I stayed in a tent outside of St. George, UT at a place called Red Cliffs. It was a fun and interesting trip. My husband and his family love to camp. In fact when his oldest brother Brad got married, his wife requested a camping theme bridal shower. She was given food storage theme on instead. (Weird, I know, but true.) When I got married I was asked what I wanted. I said anything but camping. Camping stuff is all I received, (none of the good stuff.) My husband absolutely loves to be outdoors, dirty and all that jazz. We have of course compromised, but still I am not too thrilled with the whole idea. We left Remi with my mother, thank goodness, and Hunter got to be an only child. He loved it.

It rained half of the time we were there. The sun came out enough to dry everything up and give me a few more freckles, not that I need any more. I love being around Stephen's brothers and their families. It makes me feel so normal. The worst thing anyone is addicted to in that family is diet Pepsi. hehehe. I love it!

Well, anyway, I have nothing to exciting to report, not that I ever do. I am nervous now that my inlaws have discovered my secret outlet of a blog, I can't think of anything to say or write about. Yikes!

The End

I am officially at the end of my rope. I think I might strangle someone. I don't know how many of you live in apartments and get to experience having very close neighbors. If you have not yet experienced it, don't. I have a single mom that lives above me with two girls, ages 6 and 4. That's not too bad. The mom is nice, the girls are sweet. Whatever, I'm easy. The mom has 4 siblings and her mother over ALL the time. It is so noisy. It sounds like the biggest thunderstorm any time they are up there. I have tried to be really nice about the whole situation. I am after all the manager, anything I say comes across really mean and bitchy. Last night, however, I had it. My family goes to bed early. Before the time change here, my boys were asleep no later than 7 PM, now it is more like 8. I am usually in bed pretty quick thereafter. I don't go to sleep until around 9:30. I get up every morning at 5 AM so that I can try and lose some of my fat ars. I realize that not everyone lives like this, and that is great. If I were thin and had no children, or a job, I would probably sleep until noon, but that is not my situation. Anyway, those kids are running around until about 11:30 every night. My lights on my ceiling keep clanking from them jumping on the floor directly above the fixture. Sidenote: I may be having a little hormone issues right now, and should not be held liable for rash behavior over little things. I stood on my bed and pounded on the ceiling with all my might. Then today when I saw the mother I let her have it in the nicest way I could muster up. One of her brothers has a girlfriend that is always up there too. She always sits in the stairwell and smokes and then throws her cigarette butts anywhere convenient for her. Another sidenote: The garbage dumpster sits not five steps from my front door. I do not smoke. I am not terribly prejudice against those that do, but I do not want to have it blown into my front door. Plus she keeps using my planter as an ash tray. I lost it on the girlfriend too. I told her no more smoking in the stairwell and to never use my things as ash trays again. Now, if someone had talked to me the way that I was talking to her, I would have been ticked. She just laughed and went back inside. Oooooohhhhh, that made me even more mad. My kids have been little shits today, my baby had to get more shots, I picked up garbage all day, and then she was laughing at me. I think I might lose it and strangle her! I don't even care about being the big bad bitch anymore.

Islander Babies?

My friend and I were talking pictures of our kids this morning. Last week we went and watched our friend preform the Haka dance. After that we decided to play dress up.

Hunter, trying his best to look stern.

Tyler, watching t.v. :)

Remi, also watching t.v. :)

And Sisilia, frowning because of the snow.

Anyway, it was fun. I was so excited about how cute they turned out that I had to blog them.

I hate that

It has recently occurred to me that I am a grumpy, ornery, cranky woman. Today, I dislike most things. Okay, that was being a little too nice. Let me start over. Today, I hate most things:

I hate the college kids that live down the road that stare at every car which passes. I drive a red windstar. I think it is obvious that you do not want to hit on me. So don't stare at me. Plus, I'm not that much older than any of you little brats. I just drive a van!

I hate getting up in the mornings to work out and then feeling like shit for the rest of the day. Why do I need to work out? Why can't I be content with being a bigger girl?

I hate it when people pick at their ears and then examine the findings. It is earwax people! You haven't struck gold.

I hate it when I have everything in the world to do, but I am bored. What the freak is my problem?

I hate waiting in line at the grocery store.

I hate balancing the checkbook, paying bills, and keeping track of all finances!

I hate moving.

I hate life!

That is all.

Just having one of those wonderful, "I suck" days.

Noses to the Grindstone

I've got my nose back to the grindstone. The kids are back and so is the cold weather. Yuck! Actually it is just rain so I am happy.

While my kids were gone, I was surprisingly productive. We are preparing to move in May. I cleaned out our storage room. We took a car load and a half to the thrift store. Now I can just pack stuff up and send it to the storage room. I was able to go through toys and give up 1/4 of them. That was easy without Hunter telling me that every toy is his favorite, special toy.

All in all, it was a nice break from regular life. Now I am back to it. Remi is sitting in his high chair yelling at me because he wants the rest of Hunter's breakfast. Ahhh my life is wonderful.

No kids!

I am officially kid free. My inlaws and parents have taken over my children for a few days, leaving me with all the time in the world. I ran stairs this morning. Yuck! I am now preparing for a relaxing bubble bath with no fingers sticking under the door, and no children yelling at me for a drink. Lazy dayz!

Snow Day

This first year that I was married it snowed here on the 2nd day of May. No joke. It melted that same day, but snowed none the less. Every year since then we have had frozen roads and white lands from about November through late April. This year has been different. It didn't even snow until mid-January. I, unlike everyone else that lives here, have been happy. I can deal with rain, but the snow has to be plowed and shoveled. That part, I hate. My family, however loves the snow.


We finally took our boys last Monday to go tubing. We went to our golf course and slid down the driving range. I went kicking and screaming, but I have to admit that it was pretty fun. We went with our friends and their kids. I have to tell you that there is nothing funnier than seeing a baby that can't even walk desperate to be a big boy. Remi was hysterical


I am so sick of the snow. I love the fall and the summer, but I cannot stand being cooped up any longer. Sick kids, cold toes, I hate it all. Yuck! Yuck! Yuck!